Random

This entry is a badly structured entry.

I am just going to put down random thoughts.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not the study type of person. I try but sometimes I never try hard enough. I have never burnt the midnight oil. The best I can do is to wake up earlier to study. Was just telling how hardworking I have been lately to my brother. He said ‘...that’s so weird’. He doesn't seem very convince. He knows me best and he knows how much a slacker I am. Never been studious but always been lucky.

I remember when I was doing my SPM (GCSE) year. I spend so much time sleeping that my brother was constantly nagging me to study and all that. Yes my Younger brother. Sometimes he feels like my 'kor kor' (Big Brother) instead of my 'di di' (Little Brother). I am glad he nagged me cause I did do well in my SPM but I guess there is no point bragging about it anymore cause the qualification feels like toilet paper now as noted by one of my old teacher. I was really annoyed at him for telling us before our exams that the qualification is worthless but I guess it is true to some extent.

The first time I worked really hard was in college. First time away from home. First time I didn't have dad to solve my Maths problems. That really suck. I have always been lazy in school and having a Maths crazy dad who is always on stand by doesn't really help to make me less lazy. So I worked really hard in college compared to in secondary school. IB is tough but I really enjoyed doing my Extended Essay and I actually miss doing IB Maths and Stats. I love the thrill of actually solving a proof.

I did the minumum work possible in my first year at uni. Reason being first year results doesn' t count. So why bother. I never even been into the library to study in my first year. I studied like at the last minute. I skipped quite a few of the 9am lectures. Thank God, I still did fairly well. I started to work harder in my second year. It was difficult as I did not enjoy the subjects that I was doing. This year I really enjoy the subjects I am doing and have been working consistently. The assignments results have been really encouraging. I am suprise by myself. Perhaps 3 years here I have finally sunk into the best way of studying that works best for me. Guess I did learn something at uni after all.

Besides hard work, I guess getting good grades its all about strategy and luck. Perhaps some of you may think I am over optimistic. I know I am. I have always been a dreamer. I believe in dreams. Not just believing it blindly but I try my best to make them happen. If they don’t then God must have His reasons. Everything happens for a reason. But God helps those who help themselves.

To succeed it is all about believing in yourself. In the power you have inside. People may say you shouldn’t think that way cause things can go wrong. Sure life is The Shit and things go wrong All the time but one door closes another opens. When things go wrong, I will always think of the wise words of Dalai Lama that deep in us we know the solution to our every problem. I love wise sayings by wise people. They are mostly difficult to practice unless you are really strong person but it helps me reflect and better myself.

This year has not been easy. It has been a constant struggle inside and outside. I have had to make some tough choices and decisions. I have done some of the hardest modules ever in my life. But I realized that God has been amazing as always. He has been watching over me and guiding me and I hope He will continue to lead me to where He wants me to be.