I am inspired to blog about this after reading like a few blogs of strangers and also dearest Grace's blog about who pays on a date. I remember a conversation with a friend few years back.
DR: So did he treat you for meals?
PJ: Huh? Nope. We go Dutch.
DR: What? Not even once?
PJ: Nope. He said he is poor. But I guess he really is not into me.
DR: Forget about him, I think he is useless.
PJ: Huh??
Maybe what my friend said was a bit harsh. But I guess a guy should pay or at least offer to pay if it is a date. Feels very ungentlemanly if they don’t do that. This is just MVO (My Views Only). I realized that if a guy were to offer to pay, it feels kind of rude to insist and say ‘no’. So I will say ‘ok but next time let me buy you coffee or ice cream.’ I don’t expect a guy to pay for everything.
Some guys will go on about all the crap about gender equity. Why should guys pay for dates? Why not girls pay? This is the time when they get defensive and come up with all the equity crap. It is ok to think that way but for your info, this 'kiam siap' (stingy) and calculative behaviour really turn girls off. It is not that girls are materialistic or anything like that but it just feels nice to be pampered. Be a gentleman. Be a man and cut the equity crap. Men and Women can never be equal because God didn't make us to be equal. He made us to be different but loves us equally.
For me, if a guy were to ask me out, I would of course be flattered if he offers to pay, shows he is into me in a way but if he doesn't I guess going Dutch is ok. But I probably would think twice before going out on a date with him again because I am just like any other girl, I am put off by such guys. Call me traditional or whatever but I think I am just like every other girl. Guess I am normal after all.
9 comments:
well, i think a girl should pay for dates too. a guy doesn't have to do everything. it's a bit unfair just because they are a guy. what happens if they are broke or something and they have to say yes because he has to? so, it's a bit unfair. to me, i believe in gender equality. a girl should not be dependent on a guy. EVER. My views only. :)
MPV: gender equality is relevant for certain & some cases but not all..
>shiyan, ya i agree. i always feel that a lady's financial independence is very important. but i guess for the first date. it will still be appropriate for him to pay. if he were the one to initiate the date. and if thats the case he should choose a place which is within his means. Thats MPVO.
>sing cher,as much as i would like to see equality i doubt there will be total equalitly. i guess a lil inequalitly is ok as long as there is no discrimination.
out of courtesy, the guy should definitely pay on the first date, even if he's not that into you.
but then if he's not into you, he wouldn't have asked u out either right?
ya definitely a gentleman to pay for the first date even if he is not into the person.
i dunno. the guy might be into me but not a gentleman i guess.
wowww....such a cute discussion. I prefer going Dutch, cuz it gives me "less" pressure of going out with a guy. But then, on the first date, yea maybe the guy should pay....or maybe not....that depends on the definition of "date"....wooowww I think I am so chiimmmm
mpvo:
of course a guy dont have to offer. but if he did... he will gain my interest so much more.... hahahah... a guy who offers to pay is like that extra bit of gold dust on the goose.(ahahahhha..dont ask me why i said that)
if i like the guy. i let him pay. and ask him out again the next time to return him the treat.
if i dont like the guy. i will INSIST to go dutch. no more next time. ahahhaha..harsh hoh..
but say only la.. i've been raised to not accept a treat so easily..i guess if my date knows me enough..he can PRETEND to want to pay(when he doesnt)...and i would insist to go dutch..he's going to be one lucky assssssss....
AHHAHAHAHH
wow vicky.. u've got good 'chimology'..haha
well i guess as a gentleman, a guy should pay for the first date..... just hope that he won't ask for a dutch after he walks out fo the restaurant..haha
>vicky, ya its difficult to define a 'date' also sometimes. wow this topic is gettin more and more 'chim'. can do phd thesis for it. hahaha..
>fel,i so understand you( beats chests.) cos im kinda harsh too like you sometimes. hehehe..
>charlene, hahaha.. so funny lah you. actually rite, it is tough being a guy also. im trying to be fair to them but i still think that guys ought to pay for the first date.
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