Being home this time made me realised how much I miss spending time with my family.
I miss eating with my family.
I miss being a couch potato with my dad in front of the TV.
I miss helping my mum do the housework.
I miss those spiritual conversations I have with my aunt.
I miss listening to the animated gossips my dad tells.
I miss having a fight with my mum over the silliest things.
I miss having my brother to do things for me.
Every time I go home, I feel guilty for spending so little time with my family because I am working abroad.
I realised being away I have missed many weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, gatherings...
Yet going home this time, made me realised how proud my parents are of me.
Dad and mum keep reminding me how blessed I am to have been given the opportunity to study abroad and also that I have been extremely lucky to get a job abroad.
Everyone thinks it is 'great' to work abroad.
And I always say 'ho kwah bo ho jiak' ( nice to see not nice to eat).
Universtiy was fun but working abroad is actually very challenging. ( I want to say difficult but I want to use a more positive word because positive thoughts will channel positive energy and attract positive things into life.)
It is not as glamorous or cool as it sounds.
Sometimes I feel like packing my bags and go home but friends working at home will tell me how tough it is over there. In fact I am having an easy time here according to them. I guess everywhere we go different challenges await us and it is up to us to stand up and face these challenges.
Having lived in UK for almost 5 years now, I have grown very fond of UK. I feel safe here which I don't when I am in Malaysia with everyone constantly telling me to be careful of snatch thiefs etc. Like when I had to take a late night/early morning bus to the airport, I felt so safe even though I was on my own. I know I probably won't feel that way if I am at Pudu. Then there is this other thing about special Malay rights in Malaysia which many are discontent in Malaysia. It is probably one of the main reasons, many non-Malays want to leave the country.
But despite all its short comings, Malaysia will always be home.
The feeling whenever I touch down at KLIA is 'I am so glad to be home.'
But yet sometimes I feel like a foreigner in Malaysia especially in KL.
KL is one of those cities that I don't think I will fit in. It is just a feeling.
Actually I don't even know if I will fit in anywhere.
I love UK but it is just so far away from home and everyone else.
Hmmm...
Thinking of working in Singapore or Australia or somewhere in Asia to be closer to home. Would really really love to live and work in Japan for a bit if I can find a job there.
I guess I will know where to go when the time comes...
At least I know I have somewhere I can go back to come what may...
I told my aunt having travelled to many places, I still think Muar is the best place in the world. Sometimes I wish I had never left Muar but if I had never left I would not have known that it is the best place in the world.
Yes everything happens for a reason.
8 comments:
why thinking of moving to places near home?
& why don't u just stay in Johor? working in M'sia doesn't mean gotta work in KL.
I can't link myself to KL either.
I've been back in Ipoh for almost 2 years.
I discover more about this city everyday.
I would never know when this discovery gonna stop.
I'm always in love with my hometown more than yesterdays.
I think u would only call UK as your home, when the home in your heart is not in Muar anymore.
Hi Pei Jie,
It's auntie Moong Nah here! Just want to say that forget about what other people say, it's your life you're going to live, so just follow your heart - where you want to be! Everything will fall into place eventually! This might be the first time I give comments on your blog but I've been following your blog regularly. Everytime I read your blog, I always sensed that you are pretty lonely back there. I had lived abroad for a few yrs, so I know exactly how it feels!
hi kian hui!
i was telling my dad i wanted to move back to muar/johor/melaka but he said what can i do there? can i accept the much much less pay there? and i have a loan to pay to jpa that i have to consider and i said i will spend less lor then the next day the government announce price increase. haiyo...
he thinks i should make some money before i go back for good. everyone thinks that way. and everyone working at home is telling me how rough it is over there and so many are applying to work abroad. ahhhh... the irony.. them wanting to come here and me wanting to go back. madness..
i think i want to save a bit of money before i go back to malaysia for good - maybe enough for me to set up a small business of my own. then no need to work like dog for other people. ;-p
hi aunty moong nah, honestly,i didnt think it will be this tough. working is so different from uni. it is so much harder to make friends esp finding friends with the same wave length. maybe it is just harder to make friends as you grow older. and everyone seems to think the solution is to get a boyfriend which i think is silly. perhaps i can't really open my heart to anyone here because my heart is not here. dunno lah.
but i really should be thankful. i have met many many kind people here. im a very lucky girl. ;-)
hmmm well it doesn't matter where u work..as long as u're happy.. i guess ur parents just wants the best for u..cos working in uk earn more and maybe its' much safer?
hi charlene,
ya i understand how my folks feel.
but at the end of the day, personally i feel happiest when i get to spend time with them. ;-)
pj you can work in Singaporeeeee!! :D
wanna but dunno if they will take me in spore. everyone there like very smart leh... x
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