I was browsing through my old blog and found something I wrote. I am impressed by what I wrote. OMG did I seriously wrote that???!!!
Many things have changed since…
The One I thought loved me the most I don’t think he loves me the most since he has hurt me again and again since. I thought I was hurting him but the truth is we were hurting each other. What the hell was I thinking back then I wonder.
The One I loved the most. Well it has been such a long time and until today I don’t even know why I loved him the most then. This was a very special person; there is something about his quiet gentleness which was very touching. There were times when I wish I had the courage to tell him that he is much missed. But I know he is living well, the way he wants it to be, as he likes it. I wish I had the courage to tell him that he was once the person I loved the most but I guess some secrets will have to remain secrets forever because secrets are to protect oneself. Perhaps he knew how I felt but never acknowledged it because he doesn’t feel the same way. From the bottom of my heart, I am thankful to have met him and the time spent with him has been truly special.
I have definitely found myself and fallen in love with the person that I am over the years.
So hopefully the next special person that comes along will be The One I spend the rest of my life with.
P/s - It is liberating to be able to finally talk about the past with a smile. Perhaps... Love is Losing but Winning. <3
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