Let The Magic Begin

...Car J'ai besoin de toi.

(..Because He has a purpose for you.)

There are days when you wonder why am I here? what am I doing? what is the purpose of all these? why is this not working? why does this hurt so much?

Many Unanswered questions.

But when we are happy. We don't ask question like that. We don't ask why am I so happy? Because we know we are. There is no need to seek an answer for that.

Was watching Ajahn Brahm's dharma talk about how to be successful.
His first question was : Does happiness come after you are successful?
I knew the answer immediately. You have to be happy first and success comes naturally afterwards. Perhaps we all know the answer to that question unconsciously.

It is interesting because we often think to ourselves : Ah once I achieve this I will be happy. We often forget to enjoy the process and feel miserable trying to achieve the happiness that is actually within us.

No one can make us miserable but ourselves. Very often we are just too hard on ourselves. Like this week, I got an unexpected phone interview. They said they will call me back after I send them an updated CV (the first one was too brief) and after 2 days they haven't. So I started to have all these thoughts that heck maybe I didn't do the interview well enough, maybe I didn't leave a good impression, maybe my CV wasn't up to scratch. Fretting about 101 negativities.

Then Geong Sen said something which was the best thing I learnt this week. He said : 'Very often in life we tend to think that it is us that is the 'cause'. But the truth is it is probably not us, we have done our best and there are other factors like maybe there is a more suitable person etc.' He is such a sweetie. But I guess the whole point is we are always too hard on ourselves.

I got a phone call the day after I applied for the job. That itself is an achievement. If they don't call me heck its their lost or maybe its a blessing because I might not fit in there. And because of the phone call I realised my CV was not good enough and I had the opportunity to revamped it following fairy Godbrother's advice.

And I was fretting about not getting any response for the other job applications I applied for. Then I had a look again and realised the closing dates are not till end of May. I realised that I am worrying myself silly when I should be enjoying this whole process of starting a fresh.

And God has been so good to me. Like when I needed advise on how to update my CV. Like magic this senpai that I had not seen for ages appeared like a fairy Godbrother.

I can't stress how wonderful God has been to me. I never had to worry about getting a job. It has always been smooth sailing - getting the internship, and full time job afterwards.

This is the first time I have to go out there and cari makan. I should enjoy the whole process that I missed out after graduation. And of course I must have faith that everything happens for His purpose.

So..

...let His Will be done and the the magic begin.