Still The Same

Most people tell me I am still the same whenever I go home.
I think as a whole I am still the same but perhaps I have changed.

Is it possible for one to stay the same always?

People change with time.
People change with age.

Things change but yet many things will always remain the same.

Mum was a wee bit upset on the phone on CNY.
She said that she heard that I have been swearing a lot on my blog and that I have changed.

I didn't realise I have been swearing that much. Perhaps a little bit.

The truth is I don't swear that much really.
I am only ever brave enough to blog it. Sometimes when the going gets tough the words are in my head but they normally don't make it out of the mouth unless it really is 'the shit.'

Of course I have changed.
How is it possible to remain the weak and meek little girl when I am on my own here?
I have changed because circumstances have made me.
I have changed from a spoilt daddy's girl to being independent old lady.
I have to do everything on my own. There is no option of asking dad for help.
I have all these responsibilities of paying the bills on time, keeping the house 'livable', paying taxes and the lot.

I have changed from a cry baby to one that is almost emotionless.
This change worries me a little bit.
I used to cry a lot. I get emotional easily.
Now there is a kind of detachment.
Nothing gets to me anymore.
I just keep thinking shit happens, there really is no point in getting upset.
Perhaps I am supressing all these emotions.
Hiding them and one fine day they will all want to break free from me.

Changes happen for a reason.
And I hope I have changed for the better.

My mum must have been a bit hurt when she heard those stuffs as a mum would be.

I just hope she will continue to trust and believe in her little girl like she always have been.

For better or for worse...