Lotus and Penguins

Revival

2010-01-23T03:52:00.002Z

Can't kick the addiction. Revived here.

9.9.09

2009-09-09T07:17:00.002+01:00

Love is the fuzzy feeling when you watch his back as he walks in front of you.' - PJ's last quote on here.

It's only been 6 years but it feels like a lifetime has passed.
6 years is not a short time but it feels like a lifetime in a blink of eye.
There is nothing I want to change if I could do it all over again.

Over the last 6 years, I have met many wonderful people, I have travelled to many amazing places, I have tasted super orgasmic food, I have been amazed by the many little suprises that life throws me, I have seen some amazing works of art, I have been inspired to paint, I have been constantly touched by the kindness of people around me, I have felt very much loved by everyone over the last 6 years.

Every morning I wake up feeling so grateful because of all the love.
Sometimes I feel so undeserving. Perhaps I must have done something good in my past life.

This shall be the last entry on this blog. I might blog/put up photos here although I am still undecided if I will. I love blogging but many things have become bloggable but unsuitable.

Had the bestest last diner in London with the few people that I love love love. Thanks for the wonderful company. Hope everyone had fun yesterday. Will really miss everyone muchos.

So this is it for now.
This is not goodbye. Keep in touch!!!

*hearts*

The Last Sunday

2009-09-07T07:33:00.004+01:00

I had a fab Sunday. Mainly consisting of eating way too much and played pool in Birmingham for the last time in 2009. Also had a pleasant suprise phone call from an old friend, who heard that I was leaving. Haven't hear from her for years!!!

The thing about old friends is even though you don't keep in touch for a long time, whenever you get a phone call from them you have so much to talk about. Perhaps it is just years of catching up we had to do. We keep trying to say goodbye but ended up talking for another 5minutes. Then tried to say goodbye again and then yakked for another couple of minutes. And then again for another million times.

In the midst of busyness trying to fit everyone into my last few days. I got really confused by who I am eating with for the next few days. So I sat down and wrote down my schedule because I didn't want to double book myself.

Packing is almost done. I just can't wait to check in the bloody bags. I realised yesterday I had paint bottles in the hand luggage. Hence the frantic digging out the paint from my bag because I can't hand carry liquids without putting them in transparent bags. After I found it, sekali I realised that the bag was actually my check in bagage not hand luggage! Slaps head! What the...

Its Monday again. Brand new week to tie up the final loose ends.

Adjusted

2009-09-05T15:57:00.001+01:00

Many people seem to think that I am going back because I am not adjusted to life here.
Are you kidding me???? How can I not be adjusted to life here??
I am more adjusted to life here than in Malaysia!
It has been 6 years! If still not adjusted then something must be wrong with me.
Whenever I go back I feel like a foreigner.
Everything feels strangely familiar yet so foreign to me back home.

Life here in the UK is very comfortable. I will miss how safe it is here. I will miss the good friends I have made here. I will miss the cranky weather. I will miss the privacy I have here. I will miss the independence and the freedom. I will miss the culture here where everyone mind there own business. I wouldn’t mind living and working here if my family is here. It’s a good life here.

But at the end of the day my family is the most important people in my life and everything else is secondary. I just feel that I am missing out on family time being so far away. I am sure I must have blogged about this a million times and everyone must be yawning, thinking PJ is repeating herself again!

So, this will be the last I will blog about ‘the reason’.

Life is short as I recently realised when someone I know had a heart attack suddenly and left this world, leaving behind a very young family. It was hearing this news that really sealed the decision. Before that I was wavering ever so slightly, trying to be a rational and sensible decision maker – listing the pros and cons, getting more confused by the many different advice and opportunities being given to me. But in the end, the decision was made by just listening to my heart.

I have always been a person who is quick to action what my heart and mind tells me to. If I want to do something I do it without hesitation. I cannot stand people who moan about things or talk about things they always wanted to do but Do not take any action. Life is short. If you want to Do something, just Do it. My heart is telling me its time to leave my comfort zone, and move on.
So this is it.

Really looking forward to spending more time with the family over the weekends,
looking forward to exploring Asia,
looking forward to the new challenges (traffic, crime, politics, driving…) that await me
and really looking forward to building a new career in Asia…

So bring on the challenges, I am ready to continue my phenomenal life in Asia…

P/s –
Received an e-mail from one of the Chinese manager I worked with : 祝你一路顺利, 前程似锦!
Wah!!!!!!! His e-mail has got to be The E-mail of The Day. You have to wish that in Chinese, there is no way you can do it as awesome as that in English or any other languages.

So, I tried to think of some good phrases to reply back.

…....

All the phrases that came to mind were CNY or wedding greetings.
My limited mandarin cannot make it. Fail.

Anyway I replied back : 谢谢!加油!再见! 佩洁

Hearts

2009-09-03T19:59:00.006+01:00

Today is a day filled with suprises. So touched by the cards,gifts,well wishes,and hugs. Almost brought me to tears...

Today also marks my 3 year anniversary of my first job. Wah lau 3 years!!!!!
The past 3 years has been bitter sweet. I will never forget how tough it has been and will forever be grateful for the amazing time I have had.

Macam My Own Flat

2009-09-02T19:45:00.003+01:00

I was really excited to show the prospective new tenants around my little flat.
The landlady said to me : 'You are more excited to sell this place than us!'

Yes I was very excited that people are coming to view this lovely flat and was more than happy to show them around. Telling them about the fabulous sunset view, the bountiful storage space....

A lovely Scottish couple came to view the flat today. The lady is so cute. She is like tinkerbell with Scottish accent. And the boyfriend has a kind, 'tres gentil' face like one of my cousin brother in law in Singapore.

Because I can't put the flat in my pocket to bring it home with me, I hope hope hope someone nice will get to stay in it and have as much fun as I had living here. Someone like tinkerbell and her 'tres gentil' boyfriend. That will be the perfect ending and perfect begining for my Amazing Little Flat.

Full House Weekender

2009-08-31T21:02:00.003+01:00

This weekend has been absolutely fabtastic.

Macam Chinese New Year the weekend felt. I realised I don't have any photos cause I thought there must have been like 5 cameras flying about, so I didn't bother snapping any photos. Will nick from the others later.

My mission for the weekend was to finish off the food I had left in my kitchen as I am off next week. So, I thought since I have a full house this weekend I would cook for the people I love love love. Damn fail because I now have more food in the fridge than before. I went to the market to get ingredients but ended up buying way too much. Not sure how I am going to finish all the food in the fridge. Also have a few farewell meals planned this week. Maybe I will cook again and have another diner party. Then I will end up buying way too much food and cannot finish my food again! Vicous cycle. Aiya, should have just gone out to eat. But I love love love to cook for the people I love love love. I am sadistic, I love to force my loved ones to eat my food.

Felt very terharu by a quote that MY wrote on the farewell card.

'I am not afraid of the storm because I am learning to sail.' *Hearts*

A big thank you to everyone who made it to Birm to spend my penultimate weekend in UK. Domo Arigato...

Many Many Well Wishes

2009-08-29T17:46:00.002+01:00

Had to repeat my mum's house address like a million times today.
Ok I am exageratting.

Had to call up the utility companies - gas, electricity, phone, mobile etc to cancel my service and give them the forwarding address for the final bill.
So I had to SPELL mum's home address for them like a million times today.

Although I received a lot of well wishes from the operators of the untility companies when they found out I was moving home and am not interested in any upgrades.

I feel very terharu by the many many well wishes....*Hearts*

Almost Time

2009-08-28T08:15:00.003+01:00

I am really looking forward to moving on...
But it is sad at the same time.
Will miss the few good friends I made here.
And the bloody weather will be much missed too.

12.5 more days...
Can't believe how quick it has been and will be.

Also realised that this blog will cease soon as I have decided to stop blogging, which makes me feel a bit sad. I will miss blogging. It has been part of my life for the last few years. But things are getting too personal. Many things are becoming unbloggable. The blog is becoming too close to comfort. And its time to let go.

Perhaps I will miss blogging and start a secret blog about my new life...
But that shall remain a secret that is yet to be known.

P/s - I love the Korean song Haru Haru. I think GH and JA's rendition is way better than Tashanie's and SHE's versions. Love it.

P/s/s - I am really craving for roti canai and red bean ice cream. Really really craving...

Having Fun With...

2009-08-26T19:56:00.002+01:00

...Google Maps!!!!

Loving it...

19.19

2009-08-21T05:03:00.000+01:00

Unbelievable!
I thought I stopped breathing.
Usain Bolt Rocks!
Don't even remember who came second.
AMAZING!!!!

p/s - I heart Green Day's 21 Guns. Love it love it love it love it... I know my bro is going say I have weird taste in music.

Yummy Mummies

2009-08-20T07:41:00.002+01:00

When I see my uncles and aunties growing old gracefully and glamorously, it makes me want to be fitter. Even my dad is really fit and totally into his morning exercise routine and even started lifting weights! Macho giler.

So I went for a run this morning. Made the mistake of thinking it will be warm because it is nice and sunny. It was freezing cold outside.

Perhaps the summer is really over for good and it reminded me that the end is near. I am so thankful for the summer of 2009. It is my last summer in the UK. It is weird that I won't be around to see the autumn leaves. Gonna miss the cranky English weather. No one does a good cranky weather like the English do...will be missed dearly.

Happiness...

2009-08-19T18:57:00.005+01:00

...is being contented with less and to be constantly suprise by the abundance of life.

Had my second buffet this month. The last one was on Friday where we went to a steam boat buffet place before going for Karaoke. My first time at a karaoke actually. Was really tired but somehow managed to stay out till almost 2am.

Tonight, went to Jimmy's Spices with the boys at work. I remember going with bro and he loved it albeit feeling really sick afterwards. Thats the thing about buffets. You always feel really really sick afterwards.

Fail lah me. Have been wanting to eat healthy since...well, a long time ago.
Today's lunch was Nandos - corn on cob with spicy rice. Damn fail me. Thats what happens when you work with 3 Big Boys who would still look fab even if they put on weight.

Although I was suprised they didn't eat much at the buffet tonight...

...After we paid the bill, they headed to the ice cream bar and decided to compete who can squeeze the most ice cream out of the machine...-_-U

And then they skipped back happily to the car park, dripping ice cream as a trail for the big fat wolf. <3

P/s - Boys always have a good night out without being bitchy. How? They replace the Big B (Bitching) with 3 smaller bs. Balls, Booze and Boobs.... Ya lah thats all they think and talk about. They would apologize to me before they start yakking about the 3rd b. Hillariously entertaining that is.

No Turning Back

2009-08-18T20:23:00.002+01:00

Walked home for the last time with W today.

The last time. It feels so strange..

Its sad but I am very happy for the new life she is embarking on.
She said the same to me when I told her my decision a while back.

Feels like just yesterday we were walking home after college.
Feels like yesterday when I was at her lovely wedding.

Its amazing a year has passed by in a blink.

The world is only tiny. I am sure we will meet again someday...
Take care and thanks for caring.

另一个天堂

2009-08-17T21:41:00.001+01:00

我等待下一刻再相遇的精彩
踢开每天越来越爱
多急就这么简单

生命转到同一个频道
因为我的幸福坐标
我多渺小
能爱着你才最重要

This song is a bit too sweet and conventional for LeeHom's style but I love it. And I heart Jane's voice. Got to love this song.

Fairy Tales

2009-08-12T08:59:00.006+01:00

I remember when I was kid. I used to watch the video tape of my cousins in Disneyland USA. I loved that tape! My uncle made it for grandma and she used to put it on lots. She never sits down to watch it though. After a while she will be out in the garden or kitchen. She is not one that can sit still to finish a video or anything on TV. I remember she had some Chinese Opera videos. She would get us to put it on and after 10 minutes she will be in the garden. Thats my grandma.

One of the things that I remember of my cousin's trip to Disneyland was they went on a 'Its A Small World' ride! They did lots of other stuff there but the one thing that really stick in my mind was It's a small world ride.

And suprisingly that was the One thing that I really love when I went to Disneyland Paris. I love love love it!

After watching my uncle's video, I remember asking my dad to bring us to Disneyland. And he was like '..you are too young to go. Wait till you are older.' I must have been almost 11 then. I told him Disneyland is for kids, I don't want to go when I am older! I was pretty wise for an 11 year old. And I was right and so was dad.

Disneyland is the biggest commercialization ever! I am not sure if I want to bring my kids there and spend money on overpriced food and queue for ages to go on rides. Perhaps I will if I am rich. It is fun, happy place for kids. I had a good time at Disneyland with Stella but part of me felt like I am too old for Disneyland. Mickey Mouse and gang doesn't impress me anymore. Although I love all the made in China stuff they sell at the Disney store! Disneyland has got to be the biggest money making machine in the world! Hate it or love it.

Perhaps that is why I never really fancied going to Disneyland.
I dislike how commercialised it is. Making parents spend shit lots of money for their spoilt kids.

Perhaps I have stopped believing in fairy tales and happy endings.
Do I want my kids to believe in fairy tales and happy endings?
I don't know. I will have to let them make their mind about that.

But I would love to go on the It's a Small World ride again. Maybe I will bring my kids there after all. Perhaps they can help me believe in fairy tales and happy endings.

P/s - Just read back my post. Have to laugh because it sounds like I already have lots of kids! Trying to make sense of my hectic calendar. I wish I am on the plane with some gin and tonic. That will be bliss... no calendars, no datelines...just chill for 12 hours.

Sunset

2009-08-10T22:36:00.005+01:00

I love the sun set view from my flat.
Its the best in the world me thinks.

Just finished work. Its almost 11pm now. Tres fatigue mais tres content.
Should go to bed but feeling a bit high because have been listening to JLS all night on repeat.

Photo taken with Dadu's killer camera. Tu me manques beaucoup beaucoup....

Merci Beaucoup!

2009-08-09T23:25:00.003+01:00

The past 3 weeks has been fabulous and I feel so thankful for every minute of it.

I want to thank...

...Stella who brought lots of sunshiny love from Mauritius.

...Penny and Qassim for their kindness and hospitality at Bath.

...Nicolas, Emilie and Dipti for the fun time in Paris.

...Isabella and Antoine for the lovely french lunch at Orleans.

...the 3 lovely boys, Tobias, SimSim and SamSam for bringing a smile to our faces.

...Stella's uncle, aunty and cousin Joele in Romford for the Amazing 'mari bon' Mauritian diner.

...KJ for wickedy Turkish diner in Camden.

...my lovely aunty MN for bringing me goodies from Malaysia.

...my wonderful wonderful family for always always bearing with my crankiness.

...and last but not least a big thank you to God who has blessed me with His abundant Love.

I realised today, I need to let go and let God be in charge because He will make a way for me come what may. Amen! xoxo

C'est Une Petit Monde Part 3

2009-08-07T07:39:00.010+01:00

Happy Days pass by so quickly.

But...

...we all have More Happy Days to look forward to!

XxxXxx

C'est Une Petit Monde Part 2

2009-08-03T19:36:00.006+01:00

PJ and Dadu Jingjing!

The 3 Cousins Jangjang!

Green Pants is the Popom!

Yes there will be Part 3 because I can't decide which photos are my fave. More photos coming up!

C'est Un Petit Monde Part One

2009-08-02T21:07:00.007+01:00

Marley

Almost Sunny Bicester

Macam in USA

Always Wet Windy Bath

Lately I have been meeting a lot of overseas Chinese (ie Chinese people from all over the world, from China, HK, Vietnam, Mauritius, Malaysia etc). People who share simmilar experiences to me. People who feel the same as me. People who understands how I feel about many things. It touches me to know I am not alone. These old friends (and some new friends) all feel the same like me with a yearning to go back home. Its amazing that we all feel the same despite being so different, among us there are singles, people in long term relationships, newly engaged, amazing mothers...and yet we all feel the same. Although our reasons may not always be the same but deep down we all understand how it feels to be away from home and the good and bad that awaits us back home. Whatever the future holds we are all hopeful of good times to come.

Coming soon - 'Its a small world Part Deux'. Watch this space.

After 3 Years...

2009-07-23T20:20:00.008+01:00

...I would like to think we have both grown gracefully and glamorously. ;-D

Last Weekend

2009-07-23T07:23:00.002+01:00

Inamo
I felt the place was gimmicky. They had a touch screen table to order food from. High tech lah. Unfortunately the food wasn’t that great although the grilled fish I had was nicely done.

Ice Cream at Leicester Square
The Tiramisu ice-cream was perfect. It was light. Not too sweet. Would highly recommend this ice-cream place in Leicester Square! The others had the healthier frozen yoghurt which was equally yummy. But I was really craving for ice-cream. Actually have been craving for those vanilla cup ice-creams, they give at the end of Chinese weddings. I don’t think people give ice-creams these days but I remember I used to have them when I was little.

C & N (or is it C & R) Malaysian place in Chinatown
I had chai tau kueh. I was so disappointed. So disappointed because I could make better chai tau kueh than them. Like seriously. Even though I have a big mouth, they shouldn’t have made the cubes so huge like seriously HUGE!!! And the chai tau kueh did not taste of any radish! Should have just sticked to char kueh tiow which I normally order

Slug and Lettuce at Leicester Square
We went there for cocktails. This place is definitely worth a mention because the security guy at the door asked me and L if we were air crew members! It is cool to hang out with pretty girls, you feel prettier too.

Fire and Stone
This pizza place at Convent Garden is definitely a surprise. The crust was perfect. It was good value for money for central London. We had a drink plus pizza for less than a tenner each.

Stomp
After a night of cocktails and wine, and getting up really early in the morning to go to the airport, I felt really sleepy when the show started. I didn’t think I would be able to sit through the 1 hour 40 minutes show!
I was dozing off in the first part but I really woke up when they did the part with the rubber tubes. I love love that part. I think I was reasonably awake for the rest of the brilliantly clever performance. I wish ZS was there. He would have loved it. I remember how much he loved making noise/music by using the table as a drum.

I had a great time in London with the girls. Thanks to L for organising the girly weekend. Wish her all the best for her career break!! And hopefully I will catch up with her in Asia. xoxo

The Shack

2009-07-21T20:41:00.002+01:00

I had the most awesome girlie weekend in London.
Was feeling a bit under the weather last week.
But after the cocktails and wine over the weekend I think I am cured.

Going down to London on the train also gave me time to read. I finished reading The Shack. The theme of the book is really good. Although I don't really like the writing style of the author. The book did well to convey its message in simple words but the subject matter is so profound. The book did get me in tears as I finished it on the tube on Sunday morning.

My favourite quote from the book:

You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you - Frederick Buechner.

Next time - Girlie Weekender in London...

Catch Me Now

2009-07-15T22:21:00.002+01:00

Once in a blue moon you find a drama that you know from the first episode that you will love.

Its been a while since I saw one that make my heart skipped.
The last time a drama really made an impression was Hotaru No Hikari.

Found another awesome drama yesterday - Catch Me Now. The whole plot is really old school but I love love love.

I wonder if I can finish the whole drama tonight.

Not sleep and go to work in the morning....

Mungkin Nanti

2009-07-15T06:44:00.001+01:00

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Weekend Specials

2009-07-12T14:35:00.003+01:00

Eggy aubergine with noodles…

This is something I saw on Korean TV that I have wanted to try. It is actually really yummy and easy to make. Just dip thinly sliced aubergine in egg, fry it and season it with salt. If you don’t want to season it with salt can always dip it in soy sauce when eating.

I saw a rainbow when I woke up this morning.
And I felt thankful because 2009 has been a year I have seen countless rainbows. I wonder if perhaps they have always been around but I never noticed them.

I love the Japanese word ありがとう (arigato) much more than the Chinese word 谢谢(xie xie) The former just feels much smoother to write. Maybe I just can’t write Chinese very well. I find the edges too sharp. I can’t write it sharply as it should be and my hands tremble. Perhaps I just need to practise more.
I think saying ‘Thank you for the love.’ is so much more meaningful than saying ‘I love you.’ The former just has more depth than ‘I love you.’

Currently reading Blink. Got to love the power of thinking without thinking! Some things you just know…

Goony Week

2009-07-11T08:33:00.005+01:00

The end is very near and my calendar is currently jam packed with stuff.
Also need to organise a Goonies Night with the lovelies. Since it seems like I am the only person in Birmingham and UK who have not seen this 11/10 film.

After a week of eating hotel food….I know I know I shouldn’t complain but I have had 2 weeks of hotel food this month! Thank God they are not consecutive…. The only thing I miss about staying at hotel is the hotel bed, pillows, and especially duvet. What is it with hotel duvets, they are always so soft and silky….

Anyway, after a week of rich food, I thought I will be healthy today. Check out my yummy breakfast.

Cherrrrriessss…

I don’t eat cherries in Malaysia because they remind me of cough syrup. I think the first cherries I ever had were those on birthday cakes and they always tasted disgusting to me as a kid and I stopped eating cherries. I think I even blogged that I hate them very much. I rediscovered cherries recently when JD offered me some for lunch and I ate it thinking they were grapes. Have been in love with cherries ever since. They are absolutely delish.

I thoroughly cleaned my house yesterday night. I haven’t done it for a while because I have been busy and lazy. I finally got round to doing it yesterday because Stella is coming soon and knowing her she will start cleaning the house for me if it is filthy!

Its been 3 years since I said goodbye to Stella. I remember the first time we met was outside the Sports Center. We were complete strangers but I have been stalking her blog and me being random asked her about something she wrote on her blog the first time we met. She must have thought I was crazy. But since she is just as mad (which I found out later), we ended up being really good friends. She is probably more than a close friend to me. She is like a long lost sister that I found in my final year at uni.

And I can’t wait to share this bottle of soy sauce that I have been keeping for special occasions with Sassy S.

I wonder if she remembers the last bimbotastic time we had in London. See you soon hun. Have a safe flight and don’t be stress yah!!! x

Lost No More

2009-07-09T19:08:00.000+01:00

There are times you feel lost because you feel like you don’t have a map.
The truth is the feeling of lost is because you don’t have a destination.
You don’t need a map to get to the destination.
All you need is to know where you want to go and move forwards.
And you will always get there somehow.

Google Magik

2009-07-08T17:56:00.003+01:00

I was trying to find my Uncle’s e-mail address but couldn’t find it in my address book. So I googled his name and found his official homepage which led me to another page with family photos. Love this page! So cute my cousins in the photos!! They are now all pretty young ladies and handsome young man. Uncle, you need to update your homepage, your kids are now in their 20s already!!

I love looking at old photos. It is something I always do when I go back home. I remember showing my friend a photo of me when I was a little girl. She said ‘OMG so cute!!’ and then she looked at me ‘What happened along the way to this cute little girl?’ -_-U

If I have time I will do a before and after post of moi + friends + family. Stay tuned..

P/s – I was gutted for Roddick when he lost. His crestfallen face after the long match ended was so sad. I couldn’t bear to watch it as it was so sad plus I was running 30 minutes late for diner because I wanted to finish watching the match. The friends weren’t very happy they waited for me for 30 minutes. Oooops…

I wish...

2009-07-05T12:43:00.001+01:00

...I had a dream that I want to chase with all my might.

Everyday Should Be Lived Fully

2009-07-04T15:32:00.004+01:00

Corn on cob! Got to love this…. It is healthy if you have butter control. But corn on cob is all about the butter me thinks.

ABC corn soup PJ style. I think this a very delicious and nutritious one bowl dish. There were corn, red lentils, cherry tomatoes, celeries, dried scallops… The first time I had corn soup was at Earlsdon when KH made it and I loved it. Its not a soup my mum makes at home. Not sure why but I am guessing dad don't like it.

The song that was in my head all last week : - Nobody. Its Korean dangdut at its best! Its managed to keep my spirits up over this very exhausting week.

I am so disappointed that Andy Murray lost. But it was a well deserved win by Roddick. He definitely played the more intelligent game. Now let’s see if he can be the dark horse tomorrow against Federer!!!

P/s – This week has been an emotionally draining week. I found out someone I know had a heart attack and left this world suddenly. It is really sad. His young kids, wife, parents, family and friends must be devastated to lose him. I pray his young kids and wife stay strong in his love for them.

<3

2009-07-01T17:07:00.001+01:00

A few weeks ago, mum told me she is going to SA on her own this year. I was surprised dad is not going because I am sure he has lots of free time since he is now retired.
He went last year and he thought the weekend trip was too hectic and tiring. I wonder if mum felt disappointed when dad said he wouldn’t go with her. I bet she did. If my future hubby said no to me, I would act cute until he says yes. But my mum is not the kind who would act cute to get what she wants. Don’t think dad would buy any of that anyway.

Last weekend mum told me dad changed his mind. I am not at all surprised. I knew he would change his mind!! I am guessing dad was surprised that mum went to get the tickets for herself, I reckon he was expecting mum to not want to go on her own. Anyway, it is really sweet dad changed his mind. Mum sounded really happy on the phone. Macam she won the lottery.

I am really happy dad is going with mum. It is the most romantic thing he has done ever that I know.

Some of dad’s retired mates were organising trips to China and I asked them why they didn’t ajak my dad. They said they did but he didn’t want to go. I was surprised since he is retired and had plenty of time. I asked him and he said ‘I want to go with your mum when she has holidays.’

Awwww....*hearts*

Perhaps love is losing when you actually won….

In Past Tense

2009-06-30T21:55:00.003+01:00

I was browsing through my old blog and found something I wrote. I am impressed by what I wrote. OMG did I seriously wrote that???!!!

Many things have changed since…

The One I thought loved me the most I don’t think he loves me the most since he has hurt me again and again since. I thought I was hurting him but the truth is we were hurting each other. What the hell was I thinking back then I wonder.

The One I loved the most. Well it has been such a long time and until today I don’t even know why I loved him the most then. This was a very special person; there is something about his quiet gentleness which was very touching. There were times when I wish I had the courage to tell him that he is much missed. But I know he is living well, the way he wants it to be, as he likes it. I wish I had the courage to tell him that he was once the person I loved the most but I guess some secrets will have to remain secrets forever because secrets are to protect oneself. Perhaps he knew how I felt but never acknowledged it because he doesn’t feel the same way. From the bottom of my heart, I am thankful to have met him and the time spent with him has been truly special.

I have definitely found myself and fallen in love with the person that I am over the years.

So hopefully the next special person that comes along will be The One I spend the rest of my life with.

P/s - It is liberating to be able to finally talk about the past with a smile. Perhaps... Love is Losing but Winning. <3

I Know Nothing Else But Love

2009-06-28T13:01:00.003+01:00

The moment you stood next to me
I liked the way your eyes looked
Though I cried yesterday
today because of you
My tomorrow will be happy
neither...
Neither his face nor his style
I just needed his tender love
To forget all the time that had passed
I can no longer do anything without you
I know nothing else but love

Its so romantic in French. Although I don't think JJH's French was authentic but its romantic enough lah...

Bad Bad Rain

2009-06-27T08:19:00.001+01:00

There is an international food fair at Victoria Square which is pretty cool.
Basically it is just like a big pasar malam of international food vendors selling over priced food.

We went there for lunch and then it started to rain.
My pizza bread was getting wet. My cardigan was getting wet.
And I had to walk back in the rain to the office and work like a drenched cat.
Never mind that I was the only girl and all the boys were like it is only drizzling a wee bit.

Strangely, all I was worried about was that my new hairband was getting wet.
I know what the hell rite!?!

The hairband is really cute. It is classic black with a little bow.
I know I know, you all must think ‘eh PJ you are not in kindergarten anymore.’
That’s what I thought as well when I tried it on.
But I was proven wrong.

The little black bow gives the normal boring hairband a bit of excitement and black hairbands will always be a classic. I personally love my new accessory to bits and am so upset that it is wet.

The rain had stopped after work and I thought since it is still bright, I will wander into the shops for a bit. When I got out of the shops, it was proper pouring like cats and dogs!!!
Even with my umbrella, I was getting half drenched. All that was on my mind was I had to get home soon before my shoes die and drown.

Yes lah all I was worried about was my shoes. I know I am such a bimbo. Going to go check my favourite pumps now and see if they are ok… My poor pumps. Bad rain bad rain…

Weird Sense Of Humour

2009-06-25T13:59:00.000+01:00

Finally I went to see the Dentist to extract my sick teeth.

The first thing the dentist said to me was ‘Your emerald ring is beautiful!’
He has got to be gay. No straight guy ever notices my gorgeous ring.

I remember when I was little girl and had to go to the dentist to extract my teeth. I would always cry myself until my eyes were swollen. I remember my childhood dentist was extremely kind. He even folded me an origami frog once. The little things in life that you will always remember, forever…

Anyway back to my Dentist appointment today. The Dental clinic was classy and totally gay. Even the chairs in there were gorgeous. The Dentist was extremely sweet and overly sympathetic. Confirm gay. He kept telling me how well I was coping with the pain. Like I was a little kid like that.

Halfway through my tooth extraction, a thought crossed my mind. It amused me so much I felt like laughing out loud but my mouth was numb from the anaesthetic. I felt like the tooth extraction was like having an abortion. X Ray. Anaesthetic.

Ok I know abortion is no laughing matter. But I almost choked when the Dentist asked me ‘Can I keep your extracted teeth for research and experiment?’ I thought it was so funny. Maybe it is just my weird sense of humour. Although it wasn’t that funny when I had to pay for the ridiculously expensive bill at the end.

P/s – currently watching Gossip Girls. I didn’t think I would love it because it feels so high school. But I love it. I think its really cool people call each other in alphabets like S and B in Gossip Girls. Also like Ef calls me P and I call her F! Got to love that!!. xoxo

Playing In My Head

2009-06-21T19:22:00.002+01:00

Its OK by HwaYobi (feat Untouchables)

If you say you'll be beside me,
If you say you'll always hold my hands,
I love you, is all I can tell you,
But I won't ever let go of the happiness I hold.
If this is what love is, then I am happy
If this is what love is, then everything is okay
I love you, that's what I felt from the start,
I will always protect you until whenever.

I must've love you too much,
The truth is I must love you,
It's so hard to fall asleep,
I love everything about you.
If I have only you, I'm okay
If you'll stay beside me,
I love you,
I'll always stay by your side,
Look only at you.

I heart this song by Hwayobi. I heard it on WGM and have been in love with the song ever since. She has a really special voice. Love it.

Told Shu I have been having instant noodles lots lately and she knew immediately the reason why. I told her because its yummy. And she said '...its probably because your rice cooker is packed in the box now.' OMG she know me so well. I am very impressed.

This has been a very exciting weekend. I am so excited and happy. I am not going to blog about it for now. It will be a suprise. Something exciting to blog about when the time comes......

Oooops Not Again

2009-06-20T19:48:00.003+01:00

Yes lah I only managed to post the Fathers Day card today. I am not technically late, I will blame the postman for being slow. It was a hand made card and I hope my dad will be happy to receive it. I have no excuse except that I have been terribly busy for the past few weeks.

I remember when I was younger my dad meant the world to me (he still is). I thought he could do anything. I remember he used to be the earliest among the parents to wait for me after school when I was in Primary School. I could see or hear his very loud bright blue Opel. Once, I even wrote a song for my dad for Father's Day. I was terribly talented back then. At that time my brother was still an angel and I teached him to sing the song to perform for dad as a suprise. I wish we had videos or had recorded the song, we could have made a comeback tour of the song. And when I first got the scholarship offer to come to UK he was reluctant to let me go until Uncle LM said '..let her go lah...' Ironically, when I had to catch my first flight to the UK, he was more excited than me. He said to me 'Papa live until now also never been on a plane before.' That was 6 years ago. Now if you ask my dad about flying experiences. He can recount his trips to the UK, France and Italy from start to end with the excitement of a child. I love hearing him tell his friends about his travels. I have heard them many times and I still get really excited when I hear him talk about it again.

Dad is the person I think of when the going gets tough. He is the first person I call when I screw up or when I get heart broken or when I get bullied or when life is just shit. He is also the first person I want to call when I am happy. I sometimes call him just to tell him I am really happy and don't even know why I am happy.

Mum always say 'you must find a good man like your dad to marry...'
Hopefully I will...

Happy Fathers Day!!! I pray my dad stay health and happy like a monkey always.

Razzle Dazzle

2009-06-15T08:18:00.004+01:00

We went to watch Chicago on Saturday.

Jimmy Osmond played the lawyer Billy Flint and the audience went crazy when he came on. I was secretly excited too. First time get to see someone famous although he is not really an idol from my generation.

Everyone in the musical was really fit and it was highlighted by their skimpy outfits. Yes even the boys. Macho fit men dancing and singing, with tight fighting sheer tops...I think we all enjoyed the latter very much. Probably more than seeing Jimmy Osmond. Although I think the older ladies went mad seeing Jimmy. There was this lady in front of me who went wild when Jimmy started singing.

I thoroughly enjoyed Chicago even though its not my favourite musical. My favourite has got to be Lion King. I don't know if it was because it was my first or it was because I went to watch it with 3 wickedy friends. Lion King was absolutely unforgettable.

Looking at older blog post and to be reminded of the wickedy times I had at uni, make me feel abundantly thankful for the phenomenal razzle dazzle life I have had to date. And I wish for you my dear friends that our lives will continue to sparkle in the abundance of blessings and love.

P/s - We all look so young in the photos!!! Hopefully we'll all grow old gracefully...

Love Shuffle

2009-06-12T23:27:00.002+01:00

Had diner with a group of friends tonight, who are all married or engaged!
And I was the youngest in the group. Unbelievable!!!

It is nice to be the youngest for a change as I have been working with really young people, managing them, coaching them, showing them the ropes, making sure they get the work done, its great to be a Senior because you feel like you have progressed but at the same time it makes you feel old. I miss the excitement of learning something new, and working on something new to challenge myself. Yes I am thirsting for more, more, more but at the same time I miss being young and innocent, and when it is ok to make mistakes because you are new.

The diner table subject tonight was of course Love.
Don’t we all love talking about Love.
I was fascinated by the many ideas thrown on the round table.
Actually there were more questions that answer.

Is the person we are with right now The One?
Do people get together because of circumstances and perhaps not Love?
Do people get married because it is the natural thing to do over the passage of time?
How long does it take for the passionate love to fizzle out into the love that feels like home?
Is marriage really ‘ai qing de fen mu’ (‘graveyard of love’)?

I was very quiet throughout, trying to absorb all these questions and couldn’t really find an answer within me. When asked what I thought, the words that came out of my mouth automatically was ‘yuan fen’ (destiny).

Perhaps the Love of our life at the moment may not be The One true love. But isn’t it amazing that destiny brought 2 people together?

I have to agree that most people get together not for Love but more because of circumstances and Love comes later. Perhaps that really is the courage to Love, to be brave enough to Love in the circumstances that you are in or at least learn to Love.

Most people get married because it is the right thing to do but I do believe that there are people who get married because of Love.

It is very sad when people feel that marriage is the graveyard of love. Love is Life. And Life is what you make out of it. If you want Love to be passionate you have to Live it with passion.

Then again I am probably the least qualified person to talk about love because I have always been a coward when it comes to Love. G said something which felt like a smack in my face. But it is true what she said and only real friends will tell you the truth. She said that I have never had the courage to Love. She is right the fear of getting hurt makes me a coward over the years.

She is right and hopefully I will be more courageous the next time round.

p/s – Love talk has tired me out. It is serious stuff. The conversations tonight reminds me of this Japanese drama that I watched ‘Love Shuffle’. On a less serious noted, S showed me where we are staying next week. Check this out. I have been really excited since he told me!! Feels like I am going on holiday! I will just pretend I am going on holiday and syok sendiri!

Feel The Love And Dance

2009-06-09T17:27:00.004+01:00

Have been listening to Jason Mraz's I'm Yours. (courtesy of Ef)
I feel so happy listening to this song. I feel so much love. Makes me wanna dance.
...which I did. Syok sendiri again.

By 8am today I have already went to the gym, pool and the sauna. Was really lazy at the gym. Ran for 15 minutes, then spent the next 15 minutes reading (Elle) while cycling slowly. Next 15 minutes in the jacuzzi and finally the sauna. I guess this is the high life that we all want to do everyday. Imagine a life like this everyday!! I think I can live with that...

I have weighed myself 3 times for the past few days. Before I left Birmingham on Sunday, I weighed myself with the weighing machine at home that Dad bought - almost 50 kg!!! ZOMG!!! Then I weighed myself again with the weighing machine in the hotel room - 45kg. Hmmm...Today I weighed myself in the gym - 42kg! I wonder which one is right. Or maybe I have yo yo weight. Oh well, whatever lah...

I went away for work not holiday lah. I am just highlighting the fun bits which are non-work related, although I thoroughly enjoyed the work. Its good to be away and to be back refreshed!

P/s - This was written on Tuesday but never got round to posting it. This week has gone quick! Its almost the weekend. I haven't unpacked since I am off down south again next week. I look forward to going away but I know I will miss Birm.

Happy Birthday Shiun.

2009-06-07T17:56:00.005+01:00

Happy Birthday to my baby brother!!! (Remember this photo taken at the Bullring last year?)

Was packing my bags to get ready to work away down south this week and found a card. It was My brothers birthday card which I forgot to post. Slaps head. What an air head.

OK I suck lah, only got you a card some more forgot to post.

But then this is the first time (I think), that I actually forgot to post your birthday card.
Oh and you get special dedication on my blog every year. In case you forgot...

2005 freaking long emo post...
2006 check out how thin you were after NS. Looks a bit gay.
2007 turning 21
2008 food porn! The things I do for you...

Dreams come true yo. Don't study too hard lah, chill lah... Peace. x

Overpowered

2009-06-06T08:37:00.004+01:00

This is suppose to be a blue coloured piece. Not sure why when it was taken it turned black. It is actually inspired by a poster from Green Day that I kept seeing everywhere I go. Like a sign which made me picked up my packed away brushes and paint. I wish I could be original and come up with my own works but at the moment, I am just picking up ideas from things I see around me. Although it is not everyday I get that strong urge to pick up the brush but when I do get the 'feeling', it is overpowering, I would think about it all week and look forward to put those feelings on paper over the weekend.

I wonder when the next time I would feel inspired to pick up my brush again.

Serious Business

2009-06-01T23:05:00.004+01:00

This is one of my fave photo of mum and dad when they came over last winter.
Its taken at Trevi Fountain, Rome. Dad was so serious when he threw the coin into the fountain. Its serious business to him. I even got told off for not being serious enough when I threw my coin.

Can't believe winter was just a while back and now summer is here. Its boiling even in the evenings. I went out in my shorts and flip flops after diner tonight. Happy summer nights are back...

Encore

2009-05-30T20:33:00.004+01:00

This has got to be the sexiest Korean movie ever.

It is hard not to fall in love with this movie. Absolutely brilliant. 5 stars.

Its one of those movies that I want to replay and watch it again even though I just finished watching it.

My favourite part has got to be when he sang to her in French. Its cheesy but its acceptable because it was sung in French.

The moment I stand by you
I love the way you look at me
Cried yesterday, live for you today
I'd be happy tommorow
Neither your face or look
All I need is your soft love
The times in the past will be forgotten
I'm helpless without you
I know nothing but love

Oh and I love it when he extended her drawing from the Little Prince. Love love love.
Ok I shall shut up because I can go on all day about how much I love this movie.

The Naked Kitchen got to watch it!!

Introducing Gregor

2009-05-30T09:40:00.007+01:00

This is my tree, Gregor at Hyde Park. I hope I will see you again G if not take good care of yourself and thanks for being my tree even if its just for the day.

Went to Koto at Holborn for Japanese food. ZOMG the rice is like the best Japanese rice I have ever had! It was so yummy. The fish was ok ok but the rice was just amazing. I love the rice there. Definitely an Unforgettable rice experience. Reminds me of the yummiest briyani ever at Amritsar. I have now found the yummiest Japanese rice in London, for now anyway.

I got myself an Oyster card cause I thought I will try to walk London. After hours of walking I found this bookshop at Marylebone. Love it. Its one of the oldest bookshops in London. Hope I can find my way there again one day.

Back in sunny Birmingham. Guess what Onchan got me from Japan?
Kawaii Japanese bowls. Love it!

I miss London and Gregor. I will be back soon, hopefully.

p/s - I watched The Love of Siam yesterday. Saddest movie ever. I woke up with swollen eyes. Feeling really emo. I don't think I can blog about it cause damn emo this movie got me. Song is really nice. It was the song I heard on KH's blog that made me want to watch the movie. Read his latest blog entry, its really good. I love it. Truly.

The Last Ring Donut

2009-05-22T19:04:00.004+01:00

This has got to be the healthiest lunch box ever. I made this couscous salad and fresh fruits salad on Wednesday after I got back from an away job.

Personally, I am actually not a big fan of raw vegetables. Fruits eat raw is yummy but vegetables(other than those like cucumber or tomatoes) should be cooked me thinks.

Anyway I thought I will be healthy and make myself a salad. I feel like a goat eating those raw spinachs.

Today, I had pita with salad (lettuce) and Jo was rolling herself laughing at my pita salad. I am trying very hard to be healthy after all the junk I have been eating and still eating.

I think this healthy eating is not working. I was feeling really hungry at about 3pm so I had to have some disgusting crisps. Fail lah me...

My calendar is filling up with lots of stuff. Its scary how they get filled up and how quick time turns around. I thought this long bank holiday weekend will be a do nothing weekend sekali suddenly lots of stuff to do. So much to do, so little time.
I hope next week this time I will be feeling up. Am feeling up at the moment but I hope next week I will feel even more up.

The best thing that happened to me today is I managed to get the last ring donut at Gregs. How lucky am I to get the last ring donut. The donut was like sitting there waiting for me. Some things are just meant to be....

The Text

2009-05-21T10:05:00.002+01:00

I got a text from Dad.
He never ever texts me.
Its like the snow is going to fall in Malaysia!

But its nice to get a text from him and to know that he is just as excited as I am.
*Hearts*

I Want Because I Do

2009-05-18T18:30:00.004+01:00

I have not felt this way since my second year at uni.
I never thought I would feel this way again but I do.

I have not wanted something so much like I want this.
Its like my whole being gravitates with this feeling.

I never thought I would feel this way again but I do.
Its been so long since this feeling left me.

So this is it.
I never realised it until today how much I want this.
I don't care how but I will do this.

Just like I did in my second year.
I know not how but I know I do because I want.

And I will.

So this is it..wish me luck!

So Thats How It Happened.. o_o

2009-05-17T01:00:00.001+01:00

"A sound banker, alas, is not one who foresees danger and avoids it, but one who, when he is ruined, is ruined in a conventional way along with his fellows, so that no one can really blame him." - John Maynard Keynes

爱转角

2009-05-16T10:46:00.002+01:00

~ 爱转角遇见了谁
是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街
能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁
是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解
让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪
不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我
就是我的美 ~

Moving On

2009-05-15T15:52:00.002+01:00

Everyone around me is moving onto Bigger things.
Me want to move on too and I am trying so very hard.
So envious of everyone. I know everything in its time.
Dear God, help me not to focus on what I have not but what I have and what you will bless me with. Amen

Yesterday, I told myself I was going to the gym. But after I made my diner which I was going to have after gym, I changed my mind because diner was warm and tempting.

Today I told myself I would go to the gym after work but L who just got back to Birmingham texted me and asked if I fancy diner after work. I told her I would wait for her at her office as it is just opposite mine. So there I was waiting for L at reception of her office. 5 minutes later...she called to say she just left her office. I was like huh. Then I realised I was at the wrong office!

Tommorow I will go to gym. Just got a text from a friend asking me if I fancy brunch. I can't say no to brunch on a Saturday can I? All these eating and no exercising...Life is just to good to be true.

赤い糸 (Akai Ito)

2009-05-12T22:34:00.006+01:00

Our first encounter was by chance
Our second meeting was destiny
If this is true..
...is it also our destiny to pass each other by? ~ Akai Ito

Currently watching Akai Ito with On-chan. I can feel it is going to be a teary one....

p/s - Akai Ito means Red Thread. There is a Chinese legend that 'destined couples' are bind to each other by an invisible red thread.

London Weekender

2009-05-10T19:17:00.017+01:00

London is one my favourite places. I have had so many memories in this city with so many different people. So this post is dedicated to all of you whom I had beautiful memories in London.

Was in London over the weekend for Joanne's 62nd Birthday. This gal is one of the prettiest girls I know but everytime I tell her that she say I am liar. I can understand why guys find that 'Girls these days are so hard to please.' Maybe she is just humble lah.

First stop Borough Market.
Its my first time here. I heart Borough Market.
The smell, the colours...love it love it.

Second stop Korean food at Leicester Square.

Bimbimbap which was quite nice.

We checked into Malaysian Hall after our very late lunch. It is my first time staying there and it is so cheap!!! £ 11 !!! Got to be the cheapest place to stay in London! The rooms are basic, no duvet, only blanket, no TV, and toilet a little bit not so clean. The biggest downside of course is the curfew at 11pm. But heck for £11 in London I cannot complain lah.

Saw lots of people queeing outside the Hummingbird Bakery and we decided to jump on the band wagon too. Pretty lah these cupcakes...

The cupcakes were really light and the texture was perfect although I am not a big fan of the sweet icing. I think the cupcakes are over hyped like Krispy Kreme. Its not much value for money me thinks.

Diner was at this Japanese Restaurant a short walk from Oxford Circus.

I decided to be healthy and had a salad with rice balls. I thought the food was average as I have had better Japanese food. The 'sake' there was pretty good though. It was not as bitter as the one I tried in Birmingham. But the company was wickedy.

Sunday morning went to a church jus opposite Bayswater tube station. It looks really ancient outside but inside it is gorgeous. It has semi-circle room with 3 floors. Felt so happy after the simple mass.

The thing about London is there are always things to amuse yourself for free. There was a row of artists selling their art near Kensington Gardens where we were. Makes me want to paint again. Check these out...

Didn't realise my hair's grown so long - now to cut or not to cut...

After much searching in Chinatown for Abeno, instead of finding the restaurant, we bumped into YC whom I had not since for 3 years. What a small world! She directed us to Abeno after chatting outside for almost an hour.

Okonomiyaki at Abeno was delish! Well, you can't go wrong with okonomiyaki!!

Love these plate at Abeno - its one of those stuff where you wish you could nick them home.

That's all from London...till next time.

Salty Orange Sweets

2009-05-07T21:36:00.004+01:00

I miss the time when I was little.
Back when I had a little piggy bank.
When I only had 1 ringgit a day as pocket money and I still have spare to put in my piggy bank.
I remember my pocket money started from 30 cents a day to 60 cents a day to 1 ringgit a day, to RM 1.20 a day.
And I was thoroughly impressed by my little brother who can double his money just by putting them in his piggy bank. Magic or what.
Plus he would give me half of his piggy bank when there was nothing in mine. (after much cunning persuasion from moi of course.)

Ah...I miss those days when you can get 3 orange sweets (with salt in them) for a few cents and you still have spare for the little piggy bank. Amazingness!

Le Petit Prince

2009-05-03T14:45:00.002+01:00

Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. (Here is my secret. It is very simple: one sees well only with the heart. The essential is invisible to the eyes.)

I read the French version when I was at uni. Its been a long time since. Its one of those really memorable book.

I borrowed the English version from the children's library. Its quite deep for a children's book me thinks. Maybe angmohkia different. But I don't think I would have 'got it' if I read it when I was child.

My favouritest part in the book is when the Little Prince said :

'..because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.'

Yes he was talking about his love for the vain rose that he watered and nurtured. *Hearts*

Slaps Head

2009-05-02T13:20:00.002+01:00

I think the reason I was feeling bit low was because I have not been eating well.
They say you are what you eat. I was eating crap so I felt crap even though life has been abuzz with many happy things of late.

The reason I have not been eating well is because I have been lazy.
I feel ashamed that food I bought has gone bad because of my laziness.

So this long bank holiday weekend I am going to start afresh in eating well and be jolly again.

I read somewhere that the best breakfast and gift you can give to the body is fruits. When I read it was like 'Gotta be kidding me. How can just eat fruits for breakfast?' So I tried it yesterday. I had an apple for breakfast with chinese tea at about 7.45am. I thought to myself I will be hungry by 8am. But I didn't feel hungry at all all morning. Although I had 2 piecest of biscuits and dried fruits at about 11am not because I was hungry but more because 'mulut gatal'. Then for lunch I had some bread. I am impressed by the power of fruit. In fact I was feeling ok all day. I didn't feel tired or even hungry! How amazing is the power of fruits.

This has been a good week even though I was stranded in God knows where because I got on the wrong train home. I realised I was on the wrong train like 2 minutes before they lock the train doors. So there I was looking really stupid trying to open the door when it was clearly locked. Slaps head. Got off at the next stop and the next train was not for an hour!! Slaps head again. Got home was running late for salsa class. Search high and low for clothes to wear. Then I realised I have brought most of my casual clothes home in March. Slaps head again.

Guess I have to go shopping but if I do it means I have more stuff to pack.
Ahhhh...the important decisions of life....

Hear The Full Song & Hold Back The Tears...

2009-04-30T19:15:00.000+01:00

natsukashii itamidawa
(it's a pain that lied in my memory)

zutto mae ni wasureteita
(that I did not remember for a long time)

demo anata wo mita toki
(But when I saw you)

jikan dake atomodori shita no
(only the time went backward)

"Shiawase?" to kikanaide
(Don't ask me, "happy?" )

uso wo tsuku nowa jouzujanai
(I am not good at telling a lie)

tomodachi nara irukedo
(Although I have friends)

anna niwa moeagarenakute
(I could not have that much passion)

ushinatta yume dakega
utsukushiku mieru nowa
naze kashira
(I wonder why only the lost dreams look beautiful)

sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
amai kioku
(sweet memories)

Sweet memories

Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

anokoro wa wakasugite
(We were too young back then)

itazura ni kizu tsukeatta futari
(Two of us hurt each other without vain)

iro aseta kanashimi mo ima wa
tooi kioku
(The faded saddness is already a memory of long time ago)

sweet memories

29.4.09

2009-04-29T10:51:00.007+01:00

四月二十九

晴天

可是觉得一点 low.
也不知道为什么？

觉得好矛盾。

好怀念以前的我。

有时觉得好像失去了自己。

I Heart Tis Song - Makes Me Wanna Dance.

2009-04-27T20:57:00.000+01:00

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Got To Stop Trying When You Love A Little Less

2009-04-26T13:16:00.000+01:00

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

Count Down

2009-04-26T10:06:00.006+01:00

Seems like summer is here. English summer is absolutely gorgeous. Perhaps it is because we only get a few days of summer in the year.

It was a lovely summer's day lunch break with the gals. Lots of people were having their lunches, sitting on the grass just outside St Phillips. Other than English tea, as ironic as it sounds as I have moaned about the English weather everyday of my life here, I will really miss the cranky English weather. I feel I am very much like the English weather.

I realised that there are sakuras outside my flat!

Good luck to GS and Ferny in KL!!!! Must give me address and contact ya.

My bunnies.

These are too cute to throw away. So I have adopted them. Its lovely in the early morning when they greet you with lovely shadows on the opposite wall. Can't seem to capture it on my camera though. So you just got to imagine the shadow greetings of my bunnies.

I have decided that I will stop blogging when I leave the UK. Its been a most amazing ride and I shall continue this phenomenal life of mine in the Real World. The date is not set yet but am hoping an easy to remember date like 9.9.09 if I can sort everything out by then. Pray for me everyone.

Its A Small World

2009-04-23T19:39:00.002+01:00

Found out that my dining table in my flat is Made In Malaysia! Was overjoyed when I found the sticker at the bottom of the table. Wah, it might even had been made in my favouritest place in the world - Muar. I am so lucky to get a little bit of home here. Lucky me.

Went to a networking event and met this person who went to my second favouritest place in the world for his honeymoon like 20 years ago. When he said he went to Kuantan for his honeymoon, I was like wah thats my second favouritest place in the world. Makes me wanna go there for my honeymoon.

Someone asked me who the 'we' in my blog refers to, boyfriend kah?
No lah... 'we' as in PJ and friends lah. Its mainly a few close friends here in Birmingham. They don't blog and probably don't know the existence of this blog and are mostly work friends. If boyfriend I will use 'sayang' or 'darling' or 'honey'... Actually those of you who know me will know I don't blog about 'classified' stuff because secrets are to protect oneself...

There is no secrets by the way. Not at the moment anyway.

Moonlight Resonance

2009-04-21T20:15:00.004+01:00

Busyness is doing too many things at the same time.
One step at a time. One step at a time.

Success is coming home knowing you have done your best.Its easy aint it.

Currently watching Moonlight Resonance. Its been a long time since a drama captured me. I have been watching a few episodes of this and that but never really got hooked. I think am hooked already.

Let The Magic Begin

2009-04-19T10:15:00.004+01:00

...Car J'ai besoin de toi.

(..Because He has a purpose for you.)

There are days when you wonder why am I here? what am I doing? what is the purpose of all these? why is this not working? why does this hurt so much?

Many Unanswered questions.

But when we are happy. We don't ask question like that. We don't ask why am I so happy? Because we know we are. There is no need to seek an answer for that.

Was watching Ajahn Brahm's dharma talk about how to be successful.
His first question was : Does happiness come after you are successful?
I knew the answer immediately. You have to be happy first and success comes naturally afterwards. Perhaps we all know the answer to that question unconsciously.

It is interesting because we often think to ourselves : Ah once I achieve this I will be happy. We often forget to enjoy the process and feel miserable trying to achieve the happiness that is actually within us.

No one can make us miserable but ourselves. Very often we are just too hard on ourselves. Like this week, I got an unexpected phone interview. They said they will call me back after I send them an updated CV (the first one was too brief) and after 2 days they haven't. So I started to have all these thoughts that heck maybe I didn't do the interview well enough, maybe I didn't leave a good impression, maybe my CV wasn't up to scratch. Fretting about 101 negativities.

Then Geong Sen said something which was the best thing I learnt this week. He said : 'Very often in life we tend to think that it is us that is the 'cause'. But the truth is it is probably not us, we have done our best and there are other factors like maybe there is a more suitable person etc.' He is such a sweetie. But I guess the whole point is we are always too hard on ourselves.

I got a phone call the day after I applied for the job. That itself is an achievement. If they don't call me heck its their lost or maybe its a blessing because I might not fit in there. And because of the phone call I realised my CV was not good enough and I had the opportunity to revamped it following fairy Godbrother's advice.

And I was fretting about not getting any response for the other job applications I applied for. Then I had a look again and realised the closing dates are not till end of May. I realised that I am worrying myself silly when I should be enjoying this whole process of starting a fresh.

And God has been so good to me. Like when I needed advise on how to update my CV. Like magic this senpai that I had not seen for ages appeared like a fairy Godbrother.

I can't stress how wonderful God has been to me. I never had to worry about getting a job. It has always been smooth sailing - getting the internship, and full time job afterwards.

This is the first time I have to go out there and cari makan. I should enjoy the whole process that I missed out after graduation. And of course I must have faith that everything happens for His purpose.

So..

...let His Will be done and the the magic begin.

Lake District

2009-04-12T19:21:00.007+01:00

Windermere welcomed us with the rain! Typical lah.

Our first stop is Ferny and GS's favourite cafe.

In spite of the rain, we still damn semangat and brave through the rain and mud to get to the top of the hill for a good view of the lake.

After a rainy first day, it was only fair we had a sunny day the next day.

I heart this photo.

I love the Lake District. It reminds me of the Scottish lochs but its prettier me thinks. It also reminds me of the Salzburg highlands but of course Salzburg is prettier. I should stop comparing cause they are all different and pretty in their own way.

I guess every Easter in England has been really special. This might be my last Easter in England. Went for Easter vigil at a church nearby with Joanne. We even had a bon fire to light up the Easter candle. It was a really lovely mass at a little church.

Purikura at Beatrix Potter's World.

Sometimes I wonder what I have done to deserve all these. God's always so good to me. How many people get to spend Easter at the beautiful scenic Lake District. And to spend it with very special people that mean a lot in my heart. I feel like the luckiest girl on earth.

Macam A Happy Bunny

2009-04-09T18:58:00.003+01:00

…macam rollercoaster ride.

Saw a double rainbow on way home yesterday!!!

And I thought seeing a full rainbow was cool.

Damn happy. Was smiling all the way home… staring at the rainbow and counting the colours. The rainbow was actually visible the whole ride home. Really made my day those rainbows. Although we were so engrossed with the rainbow we missed the junction into Birmingham and almost reached Coventry.

Got home realised I lost my Warwick cert. Was a wee bit upset that I wanted to cry but then heck its only a cert not that I lost my passport. Took Joanne’s advise and went to bed.

Anyway, called the undergrad office today and they said that they will do a new one for me but that will be my first and last replacement. Gonna cost me £25! Like I haven’t paid them enough school fees!!! Outrageous giler!

Then just a minute ago I realised today is Thursday…..back to feeling like a happy bunny....

548th Post!

2009-04-03T21:22:00.005+01:00

I really like this photo. Something about the angle of my face or the camera or what lah that somehow or what lah make me look like I am 17. Hahahaha... Yes lah I have been watching Malaysian Dreamgirls 2. (Photo was taken at Beakonscott last weekend when we had proper cranky English weather. Apparently this weekend we will get a heat wave!Bring on the heat...)

Its already April!!
I can't believe 2009 has gone by so quickly.
And its Easter next weekend.

Really looking forward to next weekend.
I have survived a challenging but awesome 2 weeks at work and I just can't wait to get away next weekend.

'But you just got back from holiday!' everyone kept reminding me.

Ya but I need to get away from Birmingham sometimes.

Windermere here we come....

Mana Datang?

2009-04-02T19:34:00.001+01:00

Japan?
No
Taiwan?
No
Korea?
No

I was at the Emirates restaurant at Dubai and a few of the chefs working there asked me where I was from.

‘I am from Malaysia.’ Finally I told them.
Turns out one of the chef was from Kuala Lumpur. And the other chefs laughed at him for not being able to guess that.

It is funny because when I was in Taiwan, I remember one of the ah yi we met say ‘You look Malay but not the other two.’

Walking back home today, I met this Chinese lady who started talking to me in Cantonese. I surprised myself when I started talking to her in pretty fluent Cantonese. I am quite impressed by myself. She probably thought I was from Hong Kong. Who knows if you put in me in France I will start speaking like a French girl!

When I got home, I got a letter written in Mandarin from dad. I could only read half of what was on there without my dictionary but I was touched and tears welled up in my eyes even before I could open the dictionary.

I guess it doesn’t matter where I am from except that I am my daddy’s daughter.

P/s – Had such a good laugh on the train today. Actually everyday this week has been a good laugh. Work has been challenging but at least you have a friend to laugh with. Like proper laughing spree. Reminds me of the Malay words ‘ketawa terbahak-bahak’. I wonder if I will meet anyone as cool as her in future. Gonna miss her loads.

Kafe Merah

2009-03-31T17:54:00.002+01:00

We are having diner at Cafe Rouge tonight.

Its been a long time since I ate there.

Happy.dot.com.

4 more minutes and I will be in Birmingham!!! Woooot...

小人国

2009-03-28T23:11:00.009Z

One of bizzare thing that has happened this month is that I have been to two miniature museums this month - an indoor one in Taipei and an outdoor one here.

The one in Taipei I thought was really cool with a lot of attention to intricate details.

Every little girls dream to have a doll house.

We went to the model village in Beakonscott yesterday.

It was a typical English day. Drizzling with random bouts of sunshine. Was just telling Madie how much I will miss the crazy English weather when I leave.

The model village has been around for 90 years! The models here are less intricate and less delicate than the one in Taipei.

But the moving trains did get me quite excited. I was waiting for it eagerly with the kids.

Marlow is gorgeous. Wouldn't you love to have a house by the river? All you need is a million pounds. Maybe I should get myself a doll house first. Surely that I can afford...or maybe not.

Another bizzare thing this week is that I have seen a full rainbow twice this week!!!
Once on the train with Jo to work and yesterday again I saw a full rainbow. Remembered to captured it at Beakonscott.

There were lots of stars in the sky on the drive back to Birmingham.
It was so pretty!!! Alas it is something that can only be captured in my memory. Its the first time I have seen so many stars in UK.

2 miniature museums...2 rainbows...and many many stars.

Those have got to be a sign of many good things to come!!!

Sylvia

2009-03-27T19:06:00.002Z

This is a long overdue blog post about my first ballet in Birmingham earlier this year.

We got to the Hippodrome like 2 minutes before the performance started. I thought we would never get in there on time but we did on the dot.

Have been wanting to go watch a ballet for a while now. Its just that I feel I should watch them now as the chances of catching one in future will be slimmer. But who knows eh, I might be watching the Nutcracker somewhere in Asia this time next year.

Sylvia is a humourous story about Cupid trying to teach a couple a thing or two about love.I was amazed at how so much emotions could be express from just dancing and music. And the guy that acted as the Count danced with so much force and manliness. I have never seen a man danced with so much macho-ness like seriously. It was a really good show although I thought Part 1 was a wee bit messy. But it got better and better towards the end.

I reckon these people are so freaking good because they are really passionate about what they do. Work to them is probably like a vacation. I was told a lot of successful people enjoy work so much that work is just like play to them. I told Ef that we should all treat work like a vacation. And Ef's response is as pragmatic as ever 'People who say work is like a vacation obviously never worked before.'

Imagine how awesome it will be if we treat work like a vacation.
Everyday will be like a holiday!

I wish I could watch all the ballets and musical performances here before I go. If only I can afford it. The next show that I got discounted tickets for is not till June - its not a show that I have been dying to watch but I got half price corporate tickets. Might as well. Plus everyone is going. So it will be good summer fun!

I wonder if spring will ever arrive cause its gone freezing cold again....

谢谢老板!!

2009-03-25T19:24:00.003Z

这三年在这里真的很 tough.
有时后好想放弃.

啊不知不觉的也熬过了.

人生真的好 ironic.
当我终于决定了回去，我发觉我在这里开始觉得好快乐。
真的好快乐。

老板问我：为什么要回去？你的爸妈还年轻。

也是啦。但是为什么要等？我想当他们还年轻，健康，多陪陪他们两。

老板说：但是你现在很快乐。你要为自己想想。如果你快乐你可以永远在这里工作。

真的好感动。

我想快乐是来自内心里的。
不关在何仿都可一快快乐乐的过。

老板还说：为什么不在多作一两年，当上了经里才回去。可以多赚一点钱，况且现在经济也不好，不容易找工。

我想...money is not important but money is essential. Haiz...

可是我还年轻啦。还有一辈子的时间去赚钱。

经济不景气也没办法。我会加油！!!!!

x

The Naked Truth

2009-03-22T15:32:00.007Z

We were in Taiwan. So we have to do what the locals do – visit a real hot spring.

Most of the visitors at the hot spring were elderly ladies – ladies my mum’s age and beyond. There were a few younger ones but the majority were the older ones. The oldest there was 82 years young!

When I got back to Muar, I told my mum I will bring her to a hot spring next time and she said ‘Eeeee…siow (crazy) ah!’ Dad was a bit worried about hidden cameras and stuff which I thought was hilarious.

Anyway back to the naked truth, when everyone has nothing on, everyone actually looked the same after a while. My little niece told me she found naked women disgusting when she visited a hot spring in Korea. I think I would feel that way if I were her age. But now older (though none the wiser) I think I feel the naked body is actually the most beautiful work of art. We probably look better naked than clothed. Even looking at older ladies’ wrinkly skins and saggy bossoms, I still think it is amazing God designed us with those features.

We met 2 lovely stranger ‘ah yis’ (aunties) at the hot spring whom we later had dinner together and they even drove us around to Yangminshan to admire the night view of Taipei. They remind me of my ‘da gu’ (eldest aunty). It is just something that I can imagine her doing. I felt extremely touched by the 2 ah yis’ generosity. I pray they are well and maybe one day our paths will cross again. It’s a small world after all.

I had a good laugh recounting the experience with On-chan and Jo. I was suprised that the English gal has not gone to a naked hot spring before. She couldn't stop giggling when I told her my naked experience.

Looking back now it felt like a liberating experience although I was very shy there. I am still in disbelief that I actually bared it all in front of strangers and 2 friends!!!

I guess I have nothing to hide now ever from Daffy and Fel.

Taiwanderful

2009-03-21T14:37:00.003Z

PJ, Daffy and Fel do Taipei!! Woot!! Check us out.

First night walking round the streets of Taipei somehow reminds me of Johor Baru. The JB that I was reminded of by Taipei is the one that I visited when I was little. Not too sure why it brought me those brief memories I had of JB. Maybe it is those shop houses that felt familiar to those that my cousins lived in which I visited when I was a kid.

Taipei like any other big Asian cities – busy, hectic and polluted.
The pollution makes you feel really fatigue. And people there wear masks which I thought is kinda weird but I realised that it might actually be necessary and I might do that the next time I visit Taipei.

The weather at Taipei is perfect when we went - 20 plus degrees. The whole world should have weather like this all year round. It is not too hot or too cold.

I have been to many places in the past few years but I have to say the Taiwanese have to be the friendliest bunch to date. There is genuine warmth in the Taiwanese which has touched me during the short trip in Taipei.

Taipei is all about food. Everywhere you walk there are shops selling food, there are people walking while eating something, or just queuing up for good food. One of the things we did whilst in Taipei was attend a cooking class. It was really simple stuff which is practical and can be tried at home. Not too sure about value for money but it was fun.

One memory of Taipei which I heart is going to a tea shop in Danshui. It is just a shop selling tea. Feels a bit like a local medicine shop in Muar.

I really enjoyed this trip. It was lovely easy going company. Mucho arigato to Daffy and Fel for the wicked time!

I think this is how a holiday should be. It is not how much you see or how much you do but how much you experienced and felt. Very often we look forward to a holiday for a much needed break from work to come back feeling more exhausted than before because we wanted to do so much over the holiday that we forget to chill out. Although I was in a bit of a rush – got back from Taipei and landed in Singapore, rushed home to catch my flight to Birmingham – I was surprised I didn’t feel tired even though I barely slept in the last few days because of a bad stomach (too much eating.).

Most people visit a place and feel that it is enough for a lifetime. Been there, done that – next. But whenever I visit a place, I always wonder if I ever have the chance to come back again. Perhaps I am just greedy for more. I am still young so hopefully I get many more chances in the future to visit Taiwan again because I would love to feel the genuine warmth of the Taiwanese again.

Coming up next time – The Naked Truth….

Romantic

2009-03-20T19:12:00.002Z

I wish upon a wishing star for a job that I truly love - A job that can make a difference and pays reasonably well.

My 18 year old friend remarked that is just a romantic idea of a job. And perhaps they don’t exist.

Hmmm… romantic idea of a job. That never occurred to me ever.

There are people out there who love their jobs. I don’t think they are romantic. Lucky maybe? Perhaps they are just people who know what they want.

Recently many of my friends got married, engaged or met someone special. I am so happy for them. I think it is Amazing that 2 people meet and fall in love. Even if it doesn’t last forever, there will always be many cherished memories. Like the first time he calls, the first kiss, the many special moments….

The end of a relationship can be painful. It is just like a ring that you have always worn. Suddenly you stop wearing it but you still strangely feel as if the ring is there. But the truth is it is not. You still think of that person occasionally and wonder if he is well. He still haunts you in your thoughts and in your dreams. But I guess through time you get use to the ring not being there. Likewise the ghost of the past will stop haunting you over time.

There is no such thing as a wasted relationship, only a broken relationship. It is amazing to meet someone, fall in love – even if the love was just for a moment, even if he had hurt you deeply, even when you look back and felt used or betrayed.

And you wish him well and you hope you get well too as you continue to wish upon a star…..

P/s – I am not cliché by the way. Heck maybe I am but I love being cliché. Oooops… can’t believe I just typed that.

Its Been A While

2009-03-17T19:37:00.002Z

I realised that I have a backlog of stuff I wanted to blog about..

Like...watching Sylivia at the Hippodrome in Feb.
...the emo week back at home.
...driving my family to Melaka and BP for the first time. (I know its no big deal but its something special for me.)
...the long flight home and back again.
...the Taiwanderful trip with Daffy and Fel.
...my spanky new computer that I love.

Laterz...need to get some sleep, have been up since 3.30am cause I just can't sleep.

I'll be back...Ciao.

No Place Like Home

2009-03-04T03:54:00.002Z

... is an understatement.

Happy. Happy. Happy.

Busy. Busy. Busy.

And I thought it will be a relaxing do nothing holiday.

..and then there is a new to do list.

I will get round to it. Please bear with me.

P/s - Dad got me a little Chinese dictionary. So happy. Any good Chinese books to recommend for a beginner?

As Usual

2009-02-28T10:43:00.002Z

I am feeling a bit under the weather. It always happens when I am going home. Even when I was at college.

Not sure why.

My gum is hurting and I had no appetite which is totally not me.

But I am sure I will be ok when I am home. Definitely lots of coke with salt on the plane.

See you all at the other side! Ya ba da ba doooooo... x

My Promise

2009-02-26T08:38:00.001Z

I am finally finishing Anthony Robbin’s book. I have had it for a few months now but have been so busy at work and outside work to actually finish it. The book has been renewed 3 times already and I was feeling a bit embarrassed that it has taken me such an outrageously long time to read it. But it’s a good book, not one that I want to rush to find out the ending.
In fact I think the end is actually the beginning - the start of change.

Like all good things in life, like all good books in life, you just don’t want it to end. Just like when I was running on a treadmill. I always start with trepidation. Can I actually run for an hour? But when you have run for 50 minutes and feeling the momentum, you just hate to end it. It’s the same feeling with a good book. Before you start, you just think to yourself, this is such a good (and thick) book. Can I actually ever find time to finish reading it? Lucky for me, this week I had to travel an hour each way to the client on the train which gives me plenty of happy reading time. I absolutely love getting the train, it gives you time to read, to think. It is better than wasting time stuck in traffic me thinks.

One of the many things this book made me realise is that we all have different sets of rules. I realised that the reason I got annoyed the other day was because the person involved had different sets of rules to me. We have different definitions of things and we each think we are right but actually no one is right or wrong. Its just our rules are different. There are No annoying people in this world except those whose rules differ from ours. At the end of the day, we just need to compromise our rules.

Now I am going to make a public declaration of my promise to me.

I promise ….

… to look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
… to think only the best, to work only for the best and to expect the best.
… to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in future.
… to be cheerful at all times and treat everyone around me with loving kindness.
… to give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticise others.
… to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit presence of trouble.
… to be true to myself.
… to make each day my masterpiece.
… to drink deeply from good books.
… to make friendship a fine art.
… to pray for guidance and live each day with gratitude for all life’s blessings.
….to love with all my heart and let love be my energy.
… to add value to my work and making a difference in everything that I do.

This is my promise for eternity.

Alignment

2009-02-24T21:57:00.003Z

I was reading about Anthony Robbin’s daughter Jolie’s experience while having breakfast this morning.

Jolie was an aspiring performer and she got a job over 1000s of applicants to perform at Disneyland. It was a huge achievement for a teenager. But after a while she realised that she had to give up a lot for the job. She had less time with her family. It was a hectic schedule. She started getting cranky and depressed even though she had everything she always dreamt of having. Or has she?

Sounds familiar? I thought to myself OMG that’s exactly how I felt for the past few years.

In the end Jolie gave up the job at Disneyland to spend more time with her family. The break gave her time to do what’s most important to her. In the end she got a job with a prominent theatre company. All’s well end’s well.

When I first started working in Birm, a friend said to me ‘You have everything PJ. Everything. You are living the dream.’ Of course I knew that was not entirely true. I had achieved what I set myself to achieve. Yet I felt I had nothing. It has been tough over the past few years. The guilt of not spending enough time with family. The fear of not being able to be there for them when they needed me. The constant feeling that I am missing out on anniversaries, weddings, birthdays, festivities.

We have to make the most of our situation. I started going out and seeing people. Yet I still felt empty. That was when I realised where I am now is not aligned to my values and the things that really mattered to me – my family.

My cuz thinks that my decision would have been different if I had a boyfriend here. I realised that all these years I could never commit myself to anyone here because deep down inside I already knew the decision I was going to make. And love should not stop anyone from pursuing their dreams. And my dream is just to have a simple happy life with my family who have always loved me no matter how messed up things get.

Hence the decision was made to relocate back to Asia to be closer to home end of this year. Mum feels like I am giving up everything. But the truth is I am giving up nothing for everything that mattered to me and everything that is most important to me.

Insanely Happy

2009-02-23T05:36:00.000Z

That was how I felt after watching He Is Just Not That Into You.

Before the movie, we had lunch at Mt Fuji, the cosiest Japanese place in Birmingham run by actual Japanese. I always get out of Mt Fuji smelling like 'home'. You know the smell you smell after a meal at the hawker center. Its a mixture of char kuey tiow and satay etc.

Back to the film. There were so many A Listers (Ben Affleck, Demi Moore, Scarlet Johanesson, Jen Aniston, Drew Barrymore...) in that film. Its kinda simmilar to Love Actually. Its a feel good predictable chick flick but I loved it. Not going to say more. You guys must watch it for yourselves.

The birthday flowers that came 2 months late.

Thanks Shubs. Its gorgeous. It arrived in the office and no one believed me when I said it was from a girlfriend.

Tried to make butter prawns. I remember watching my KL Uncle made it vaguely and I thought it shouldn't be too hard.

Failed. Turn out like scrambled eggy prawns. It was edible though. In fact it was kinda yum.

Seaweed risoto. This is a recipe from 101 Cookbooks again. Risoto and seaweed is absolutely brilliant idea. Why didn't I think of it before...

This is inspired by Hiroto and Nao. This piece is called 15 Minutes. Still work in progress. Can't wait for it to dry and do the second layer.

I hope everyone will find The Hand that knows when to give yours a squeeze when you want him or her to.

So looking forward to next week! Its gonna be another fabtastic February week!

Sticky Note Song

2009-02-22T10:11:00.003Z

This is such a cute song.
Makes you want to do the penguin dance when you hear it.

Its from the drama Fated To Love You.
It never appealed to me to want to watch it.
Not another cheesy modern Cinderella story I thought every time I by pass it.

But Penguin Joanne kept reminding me to watch it cause its a must watch she said. She must have said that to me like a million times.

So I started watching it. I am pleasantly suprised. After the disappointment of Smiling Pasta, I thought this is probably another silly Taiwanese drama where the gals just can't act with over the top sillyness and cheese. But the lead actress (Xin Yi) in Fated To Love You is pretty good. The drama reminds me of Ally Mc Beal which I heart.

I think we can all relate to Xin Yi. A girl with low self esteem who thinks she is the most ordinary peson in the whole world and blames herself for everything in life.

That is me thinks one of the biggest problem with Asian societies. Its our cultural upbringing with too much emphasis on being humble which sometimes is detrimental to building confidence and self-esteem. We were brought up to believe that there are limitations to what we can do, or that we are just ordinary. Our parents never told us that we can be anything we want to be. I am not blaming the parents because that was how they were brought up. Its just the Asian culture. But I wish my parents had told me I can be whatever I want to be when I was younger. Perhaps its the Asian journey that we all have to take.

But if I ever have kids in future I will tell them they can be whatever they want to be. And it is not just hard work or luck, its the unwavering commitment and faith to be what they want to be.

'Men are wise in proportion not to their experience but to their capacity for experience.' - George Benard Shaw.

25 Random Things

2009-02-18T18:18:00.004Z

Adlina tagged me on facebook. But I have no idea how to actually do it on facebook. So I am going to do it here on my little blog. I am going to put down the randomest 25 things I can think of now.

1. I am absolutely rubbish with technology. Just like I didn't know how to do this taggy thing on facebook... I had to watch The Reader on mute because I didn't know how to put the volume on my VLC. I tried all the buttons but still no sound!!! Sei-chan texted me and said I can't watch The Reader on mute. The whole point of the movie is reading books out a loud. I didn't know what Sei-chan meant until I finished watching the movie on mute. Yes I watched the whole thing on mute!

2. The great lunch break plan tommorow is to accompany my friend to test drive a campervan. And I hope they have a microwave in there, so I can have my lunch in there while my friend test the engines and stuff. If not I might get her to stop by a fish and chips shop during the test drive.

3. All this week I have been talking about going to Toys R Us. I saw one on the way to Derby and have been thinking of the toys I want to get for my friend's future campervan. Apparently there is a Toys R Us in Birmingham city center. I can't believe I missed a Toys R Us here.

4. I once wanted to 'take home with me' a Take That poster on M & S's windows but was stopped by Grace who couldn't believe the crime I was going to commit.

5. The most famous British I have met is Darren Brown. He is freaking freaky.

6. I have Barrack and Michelle Obama as my desktop picture. I love putting inspirational people on my desktop. I once put the CEO of my company on my laptop. I took it down when people started asking me if I had a crush on the CEO. Slaps head. Where does people get these ideas from? Seriously.

7. If you give my brother two words to describe her lovely sister. He will say : 'control freak'.

8. I started loving my job recently. Yes I am turning into a Robot and I hate how institutionalised the corporate world is and how they are turning people into robots. I am way too cool to be a robot. But I am falling in love with my job. Like seriously what is wrong with me.

9. I e-mailed my uni professor recently to ask him if he remembered me and if he could be my referee. He replied and said 'of course I remember you'. Liar liar... took me an hour to remember his name before I sent him the e-mail.

10. My favouritest place in the whole world is Muar. I hate it when people say its just a boring town. Its the bestest place in the world.

11. My ultimate dream for Friday is to win the Euromillion lottery. £13million!!!

12. At the moment I am very very very happy. And why does everyone think that it is because I have a boyfriend? You don't need a man to be very very very happy. You can be single and be very very very happy.

13. The question I hate being asked the most is 'Why are you still single?'

14. I am totally daddy's girl - was, is and always will be.

15. I tried to do a 10 day Positive Thinking Challenge. The challenge is to not say, do or think anything negative. Of course I failed miserably. Actually life will be pretty boring if we don't bitch a little sometimes.

16. I pray every morning when I wake up. Although most of the time, its just a quick 'God please help me not to over snooze today. Amen'

17. I bought my first proper handbag went I went to Paris last year. Its a red Esprit handbag. Yes took me a while to buy one cause its my first and has to be perfect. And it is perfect. I am still in love with it after all these months.

18. I have tiny hands and feet. Feet is size 3. Not sure about my hands.

19. I am learning to write mandarin at the moment. Almost everyday when mum calls and ask me what I am up to these days, the answer is always 'I am practising my mandarin.'

20. When I am wearing a skirt to work, I love looking at the reflection of my legs on glass doors. I think its the black stocking effect that makes the legs looks slim. To be honest, I love my legs, my eyes and also my back. Those are like the only part of my body that I love.

21. My last meal has got to be my mum's curry with rice.

22. I am going home next Saturday for 2 weeks!!

23. My ultimate goal this year is to relocate back to Asia.

24. I am always very lucky. Mum always says whatever I want always comes true.

25. When I set myself to do something I will do definitely do it. I can't stand people who never get round to doing things they always wanted to do or always say they want to do. Life is too short, always always do what you want to do. So if I win the Euromillion on Friday, I would get a campervan and drive to Malaysia. Maybe I will pick Stella up on the way. It will be The Epic Road Trip. Woooot!

I am tagging everyone who has read this. Its only fair to share...

好快乐

2009-02-17T19:15:00.002Z

真的好快乐.

这快乐的笑声..
快乐的眼泪..
快乐的微笑...

最后学会爱自己...
学会原谅自己...

这是真正的幸福.
好快乐.

Introducing Pinky

2009-02-15T19:27:00.000Z

Helo!! My name is Pinky and I am one day old today.

PJ named me Pinky after Pinky in the cartoon Pinky and The Brain. Although I am actually brainier than PJ. I really hate the name she gave me cause it is such a wrong name for handsome boy like me. Pinky feels like a name for some porn star. Never mind.

I am suprised that PJ didn't give me away to Oxfam like she did with her other soft toy gifts. I will try my best to be clean and not collect too much dust which PJ hates.

Actually, I reckon I have captured PJ's heart with my lovey grin.
Thats must be why she kept me. Its the lovey grin. ;-)

Sometimes I Ponder..

2009-02-14T11:18:00.002Z

...when I meet someone that is not so nice, (I am sure all of you know what I mean.) I often wonder : 'is the person born like that or was he brought up like that?' (sorry for using 'he' but if you want to change the bastard into a bitch also can.)

You just wonder gosh what his mum, dad, brothers, sisters, girl/boyfriend, husband/wife/partner must be like. It is bad to implicate the whole family but hey you can't help it.

Did his parents brought him up to think that he is like the center of the world or what? Did his parents gave him DNA to be so big headed that sometimes you worry his head will explode? Ok this is getting a bit mean to blame the innocent parents but I am sure you guys know of annoying/unlikable people that gives you such negative thoughts.

How can his girl/boyfriends stand him? What the hell do they see in him anyway? Ok this is getting mean but then again...you can't control these thoughts for a nasty/mean person can you? You try not to but you can't help it.

Some People is so annoying. (Ross Jong is going to correct my grammar and say People are so annoying but I am going to use 'is' in my case.)

So its important to bring your kids up well so they don't turn into unlikable people who is annoying. But if you are already a bitch or bastard (of course none of you reading is are), I pray your kids don't grow up to be like that too.

Ok enough of weekend rant. Now I wonder if these annoying people find normal people like you and me annoying. Hmmm...I reckon they must do.

Happy V Day!

2009-02-13T18:52:00.002Z

Adlina put this on facebook and me thinks it is hillarious.

Let Love Be Your Energy everyone!!!

A Wonderful Feeling

2009-02-12T18:17:00.006Z

Another random recipe I made up. I saw somewhere on TV where they stuffed squid with minced meat and grilled it. My version is squid stuffed with minced soya and cheese. I used the left over cottage cheese and some organic red leicester cheese. I think I should have been more generous with the salt and cheese in the stuffing. Its always a dillema of trying to be healthy (ie less salt and fat) and wanting the food to taste orgasmic (ie more salt and fat). Other than the lack of seasoning it was pretty good. Can't wait to try it again.

I laughed so much in the car on the way home today. Its such a wonderful feeling to share a funny moment with a friend that gets you and just laugh at the silliest thing.

Anyway, this day (12 Feb) in 2007, I also had lots of laugh with the Warwick gang. It was our last Malaysian night. Good times!

And I am suprise the video links on Youtube still works. Aiseh, I think no one put the wonderful Malaysian Night we did in 2004 which is undoubtedly one of the best ever. Although I think I will cringe if I watch myself on stage. I don't think I will be brave enough to go on stage now or ever in the future. Ah, the things you do when you are young eh.

I wonder what I will be doing next year this day but I hope I will be where I want to be and be laughing happily just like today.

Winter Warmers

2009-02-10T19:59:00.005Z

Mushroom Casserole...

This dish is inspired by 101cookbooks but I modified it a little bit. I didn't have sour cream, so I just used milk and cottage cheese to make it moist and I added cashew nuts for a bit of crunch and earthy flavour. The brown rice was delicious. Brown rice always feels really dry when cooked in a rice cooker. Double cooking it in the oven in this cheesy-eggy-milky sauce just makes the rice so much more tender and yummier. This has got to be the Perfect winter warmer.

This is not a cucumber. Its a Marrow!!!

Marrow-chicory-red lentil soup.

I totally made this up. Bought the marrow. Was craving for some soup. Jo suggested putting lentils cause she loves lentils and Sei-chan suggested putting chicory. This is the first time I had chicory actually. Chicory is a veg that is like a mini version of the chinese cabbage although it tasted a little bit bitter like bitter gourd. And I used dried mussels and dried scallops that mum brought as the flavour base for the soup. We also added some vermicelli in the soup to add to the body of the soup.

Its so easy. Just put all the ingredients in boiling water, boil till cook, season to tasted and when ready to serve quickly add some vermicelli. Done.

Another perfect winter warmer.

Its Big Sun Day on Saturday!!!! Wickedy!!!

How Deep Is The Snow

2009-02-07T19:13:00.008Z

Yummy brown rice salad with sunflower seeds, seaweed and spinach.

Heat some oil and and fry the roughly sliced onions. Once the onions are a wee bit brown, squeeze in some tomato puree. Next add in cooked brown rice. Add a little water if its too dry. Season with soy sauced. Sprinkle with shredded seaweed and sunflower seed. While hot mix it with baby spinach leaves.

I had mine with poached Scottish Kippers but it actually is really good even on its own. Fabulous.

I was really craving for Okonomiyaki when watching Hana Kimi.

This is my second attempt at making it. My first attempt was a bit too watery and sticky.

This time is almost perfect but I think next time I would slice the cabbages more finely to make the pancake thinner like Aunty GY makes it.

Ah lazy to put up the recipe, as it has been a traumatic and exhausting weekend for me. But I feel so blessed that I am ok. Things could have been worse. Actually I could have been disfigured! Ok I shall not make a big deal out of it as I did this morning when I called mum and dad. I tried to be cheerful and laugh about it when I called them but I ended up as I always do in crisis, cry. Useless me. Anyway, I am fine now. Its just a broken window which can be fixed.

Hopefully tommorow will be a less exciting and relaxing day.

Nyaris Nyaris

2009-02-05T17:01:00.002Z

Pagi ini, saya bangun awal untuk bersedia pergi kerja.

Permandangan di luar bagai gurun salji putih. Sangat indah.

Semalam tidak dapat tidur nyenyak macam risau entah apa.

6.30am, rakan sekerja saya telefon kata tidak perlu pergi ke pejabat pelanggan kerana cuaca teruk gila. Betapa gembiranya saya. Betapa sukahati saya akan salji musim sejuk kali ini kerana boleh kerja di rumah dengan baju tidur saya. Syok.

Kerana insomia, sungguhpun penat tapi saya tidak dapat kembali tidur sunggupuh pagi masih gelap. Oleh itu, saya pun kerja dari pukul 7 pagi. Pada pukul 11 pagi, saya pun pergi ke gym. Ah sungguh seronok. Jarang saya dapat pergi ke gym di waktu pagi hari biasa.

Apabila kembali dari gym, saya terima e-mail untuk menghadiri panggilan telefon persidangan dalam 30 minit. Apa bender persidangan di cuacu teruk ini? Relek lah...

Ahhh...Nyaris nyaris kena busted...nasib baik giler!

Harap harap...esok juga salji hebat!!!! Best!

Best Snow Ever

2009-02-05T07:24:00.001Z

Just dance...gonna be OK...la..la..la..la...

Snow Storm

2009-02-02T21:04:00.003Z

Its snowing outside. Apparently this is the worst snow storm for the last 20 years.

I feel so blessed today. When I got home my lovely neighbour next door was waiting for me, checking to see if I was ok cause of the bloody snow. So touched. Bless her.
Made me think of the people who are homeless. Will they be ok tonight? Saw on TV that they have built shelters for those people stranded by the snow. Hopefully the homeless have somewhere to go in this bitter cold.

Will be home for a wee break in 26 days time. Wooot... super excited!!!
I really really want to cook my family a proper meal. Am thinking like proper teochew food. Need to do a bit more research cause I am not too sure also what teochew food is but I am intrigue from reading some food blogs about it. Yes I know I am teochew but I grew up kinda mix hokkien plus in Malaysia anything goes when it comes to food. When people mention teochew food, the first thing that comes to my mind is 'or neeh' (yam dessert) that is absolutely delicious but I never had it anywhere except during weddings. I wonder if its hard to make. Anyway, I have enlisted bro to help me cook (although he doesn't know it yet). That is if mum would let us mess up her kitchen. ZOMG I can't wait!!!

One Month Already!!

2009-01-31T22:46:00.005Z

More makan makan this weekend.

Dim Sum at Northampton.

Can't remember name of place but apparently the owners are Malaysians. Good stuff.

Also tried Red Hot Buffet on Friday. There was lots of variety there. One of the best buffets I have been to date. Thanks to Joanne and her lovely friends for having me this weekend.

Watched A Moment To Remember. A bit slow at the begining but towards the end it actually brought a tear to my eyes. 'I don't need to remember you. You are part of me...' (...those words unlocked my tear-gates.)

2009 has been amazing so far. I am feeling really up. The past few weeks I have been having a fabulous time at work. I am loving every second of 2009 to date. I hope everyone is enjoying it as much as I am.

Was reading a 2009 Chinese horoscope book at the bookshop. They say Water Pigs will find Love this year. Whoa...really kah? I am not feeling the 'nafsu' (is that the right word?) at the moment leh. I feel really weird when I tell people I don't have the 'nafsu' at the moment. Its not like I have given up on Love. I am just not in the mood for love at the moment. And I am really really happy at the moment. Not just trying to be happy but I am truly very happy. Happy like when I smile to myself for no reason cause I am happy. Happy like I don't even know what is there to be happy. I am happy just because I am happy. Its such a wonderful feeling.

I realised this morning when I was reading Tony Parson's Man and Boy, that there is a difference between 'love' and 'in love'. When you love someone you will always love that person no matter what happens. How can you love a person one day and not love the person the next day? Even when the person hurts you, you will still love the person because the person has become a part of your heart. However, when the hurt is so great, you stop being 'in love' with that person. But you will always love that person. That is the wonder of love.....

A Brand Niu Year

2009-01-26T22:26:00.005Z

My first Nian Gao with sweet potato and bananas.

Ferny's sago pudding.. delish.

This is for Stella...Konyaku Jelly..

Yalah another niu year lah. Was only a wee girl the last niu year.

Diner on Saturday.

Decide to stick to what I know instead of trying any bombastic recipes.

In fact it was quite a traditional meal. There was nasi lemak, ikan bilis, sambal prawns, lodeh (lontong without the rice), sushi,keropok, satay sauce, chilli ladies fingers... very nasi campur kinda feeling.

My lovelies..

I felt a rush of happiness in the car on my way home today.
The feeling could be felt gushing through my blood.
Told my friend I was feeling really really happy.
He said maybe cause its CNY.
But it wasn't I was just feeling really really happy for no reason at all.

Had CNY diner tonight at Chinatown. This is the first CNY in Birmingham that I celebrated properly here. Every CNY here seemed really busy at work. Still busy this CNY but somehow we managed to organise a little diner which was lovely.

This is truly the start of a very special brand niu year.

Listen

2009-01-24T10:22:00.001Z

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago

Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my own...

Just A Wee Bit

2009-01-23T17:55:00.002Z

I was feeling just a wee bit peeved by 'the economy' yesterday.
And what is more peeving is that it is not even a real person, animal or even a plant. Like seriously...

I shall not disclose the reason for my annoyance at 'the economy' as it is classified as confidential. It just got me a bit peeved yesterday.

Felt better after talking to dad this morning.
His solution is always simple. Life is just full of ups and downs. Full stop.

Even after talking to dad I was still feeling peeved at work. Just a wee bit.

Then I made a conscious decision in my brain to stop feeling peeved. I was on my own in the meeting room and suddenly in my head I could hear one of those feel good Lion King track in my head. Then suddenly I felt so silly for being peeved at 'the economy'.

It is what it is. A bit fucked up but it is just what it is. Nothing is going to change even if I am peeved.

This is just a challenging time and it will pass.

Like Fel said '...always a happy ending.'

So keeping my hopes high still for the happy ending.

Only The Americans...

2009-01-21T19:46:00.006Z

...yes only the Americans can make the inauguration of the President feels like Hollywood. Its all so glamorous like the President and First Lady's first dance.Everyone who saw it must go awwwwww....

Although its a bit much me thinks. I like Obama because he is a really likable nice person.

But his propoganda to date has been vague. He was never straight forward about what he was going to do in Iraq or Israel or anything really. There is so much expectation from him now as he promised CHANGE. Can he deliver? Will he end up like his predecessors and succumb to the pressure of Israel whose power is underestimated by many? What will he do about Darfur? He has condemn the genocides but what about Gaza? Is that not genocide too? Will America continue to be the biggest hypocrite in the world?

The expectations that we all have for Obama is too high.
And like all high expectations there is bound to be disappointment.

But we shall hope for the best and hold our breath for the Changes that he will bring.

Good luck Mr President!