Closure

I have very little faith in people.



I wish I had more faith in people.



On our first day in Tenby, we met an old man, T. He started chatting and asking us the normal question like 'where we were from?' etc. Then he asked us to meet him at the Paragon beach the next day. He said 'You can do your stuff and I won't bother you.' He asked us where our hotel was and for our mobiles. Of course we didn't give him those details. We just said we couldn't remember the name of the hotel and we left our mobiles at the hotel.



Anyway, we didn't go to the beach the next day to meet him and I was a wee bit paranoid that we might bump into him in the little town again.



On our last day as we were walking to the train station, we heard some say 'Hey, you didn't come to the beach!!!' It was the old man T. Totally bizzarre to see him again. We told him we coudln't find the beach. When we said goodbye, he wanted to exchange contact details to keep in touch. Somehow he made Ef promise him that she will write to him. And Ef being the righteous person that she is kept her promise when she got back.



It is bizzare that we have to met him again on our last day. Ef feels it is like a closure.

The begining is the end. Just like the first is the last and the last is the first.



I have little faith in people.

I just felt an old man wanting us to meet him at the beach is a bit dodgy.

Should I have given him the benefit of the doubt?

Or is he just being friendly? Is this the norm here?

I hope a British can tell me that this is not normal.



Perhaps he is just lonely.



Perhaps I should have more faith in people.

But I don't and I can't.



Being on my own has made me very cautious of people.



I trust no one but myself.



Perhaps I should start having more faith in people.



But I don't know if I want to risk getting hurt or betrayed again.

Tenby

Ef sent me 3 pics that we took in Tenby. There are lots more. I am guessing these are her personal top 3 cause she even took the trouble to name them.

The pics above is called 'A Glimpse of PJ's future.' Yes I took the picture cause I felt a fuzzy fuzzy feeling when I saw them. And yes I secretly wish one day I could be like them too. Ef says I should be like McDreamy (Dr Sheperd in Grey's Anatomy). I asked her '..how to be?' And she said '...to still believe in Love at 30.' I don't know if I will still believe in Love at 30 but I hope I will.

This is called 'Caldley Island - first pic at the island.' Caldley Island is a monastery island where there lived Benedictians monks. It felt really peaceful there. The water is crystal clear and we could see little fishes that looked like sperms when we sat by the dock.

We took a walk up to the cliffs with stunning views of the sea.

This pic above is titled 'Caldley Island - Ef and PJ Japanese style.' It was just us two on top of the cliff at that time. It was quite windy up there which made all the pics of Ef looked like she is bloated and pregnant. She is absolutely slim and not bloated. But look at my chubby cheeks!!! Really chubby and I can't blame the wind for the chubbiness.

So how did we take such an amazing picture on our own ? Ef and PJ being the smart girls that they are will always try to find rocks or fence or anything that they can put the camera on top and set it on timer.

And suprisingly these pics are the ones that turn out pretty amazing. More of these amazing 'timed' photos of Tenby to come. Watch this space!!!

Papa Day

Those of you who know me will know I am the absolute daddy's girl.

When I was a baby, dad was in charge of the late night shift to take care of me and to give mum a well deserve rest. He would put me next to him on the carpet and we would watch TV together. He said it was an easy job because I was an angel when I was a baby. I just watch TV with him quietly.

In the evenings when I was a wee baby, he would put me in his bicycle basket and he would cycle around the neighbourhood. He told the neighbours he wanted to show me the world. Perhaps it is always his wish for me to see the world. Something he never had the priviledge of doing when he was younger.

I remember I was always a sickly child. When I was down with fever, pa would put ice towel on my forehead to cool the temperature every other hour. He would buy me a toy or a book whenever I got well. I remember when I got healthier and begged him to get me toys whenever we go to the shops, he would always say 'I will buy you the toys when I strike lottery'.

When I was in school, I could always see his car parked just outside the gates waiting for me. He would walk into the school and chat with my teachers while waiting for me. Everyone knows my dad! My friends, my teachers, my friends' parents. He is Mr Popular. Even at home he would be surrounded by all the neighbours (especially the ladies.) in the evenings when he does his gardening.

I remember dad driving my friends to my house during weekends or holidays. I still remember his favourite game with us was Treasure Hunt. He would hide stuffs around the house for me and my friends to find. He would hide the things in the most impossible of places.

I tell my dad everything. I remember telling him about one personal problem I had and he said 'You don't have to tell me everything! You don't tell stuffs like that to your dad!' It was then I realised that I can tell my dad everything! He hates giving me advise because he doesn't want me to blame him if it leads to the wrong decision. But almost always I would follow his advice.

On the day I had to take a flight for the first time to come to study in UK, he was more excited than me. Mum said she had never seen my dad so excited before. Perhaps he was excited that I am off to see the world.

Even though I am so far from my dad, I think of him everyday.

I hope one day I can let him travel and see the world just like how he used to show me the world when I was a baby.

Le Bald-Fel

Fel is going to do it too.

Le Fel who loves to check out her hair every-other-mirror-available is going to shave her hair.

Le Fel who wears a cap on a bad hair day.

Le Fel who has this big heart and big smile.

Le Fel who is ready for the camera every single second.

Do do support Le Fel the little girl with bigger than life personality.

Nostalgia

Was on hols for 3 days in Tenby, Wales with Ef.
It was a nice peaceful holiday by the beach with nothing to do but to relax.
Will post up some cool pics when I get it off Ef.

I hate to admit this but work was constantly on the back of my mind when I was on holiday.
I kept thinking of The List.
The List of never ending tasks to finish.
It doesn't help that I was called up on my holiday by people regarding work.
I would never call anyone if I know they are on holiday.
Absolutely outrageous!

There were lots of old couples in Tenby. Made me think of my folks. It reminded me that they are getting old and I hope they will grow old happily together. I hope I can make their life better. They have given me so much and sometimes I wish I could give them more.

There were lots of young families. Yummy mummies with their hyper active kids. I think I want to be a yummy mummy but not so sure if I want hyper active kids.

Seeing the happy young families, it reminded me of my childhood. I remember the trips to the beaches, to the waterfalls, to the parks, to the zoo, to the museums... There were no posh holidays abroad like going to Disneyland but dad did bring us places. He drove us as far as Terengganu (North Malaysia) to see the turtles. He brought us to see snakes at a temple in Penang. He also brought us to Singapore to Sentosa Island. When I was younger I always wished dad would bring us on holiday abroad like some of my rich friends and cousins. But of course it was too expensive to have family holidays abroad for us.

Now whenever I travel, I would think of my folks. I wish they were there next to me to see the amazing things before me. I wish they were there with me to taste different kinds of food from different countries. That is my dream.

Hopefully this time next year, my dream would come true.

Zhong Day

To my baby brother,
Happy 21st Birthday!!!
I am so proud of you.
Hope your friends celebrated a evil wickedy birthday for you. *winks*
Thanks for putting up with your cranky,irritating sister for 21 years. Bloody hell...
Stay true to yourself. Only 21... life has only begun...
Let LOVE be your energy!!

I can't believe my baby brother is turning 21. Felt like ages ago that I turned 21. Actually it was only 3 years ago. I was a fresher at Warwick. Full of dreams and hope. I thought I knew what I wanted in life. I was so sure I knew. But now I am not so sure anymore. I wish I could be sure. Maybe one day I will be sure.

Reminded

I have to admit that I sometimes feel unattractive because I am single. Even though I know I am not gorgeous, I know I am not ugly. But sometimes I just feel that I have lost ‘it’. I was waiting for the tube in London and this guy looked my way. He smiled and I smiled back. Later he came and sat next to me. We started talking. Perhaps he was flirting a little bit. Why do I need to meet a stranger on a train to remind me that I am not unattractive?

I was a wee bit lost in London, trying to find the office and struggling with my luggage. I have to admit that I am always a bit scared of the people who sell Big Issue (Big Issue is a magazine sold by homeless people). Anyway, I was trying to find my way and this Big Issue guy came to me and said ‘Are you lost?’ and pointed me to the right direction. Why do we need the homeless to remind us that there is still goodness in people?

I was waiting for the lift and a group of people were waiting as well. One of them was this disabled girl. Her upper body was curved. I felt sorry for her. It must be really tough being disabled. Then she went to the basement to get her car. Perhaps we should stop using the word disabled because these people are ‘more-abled’ than us. Why do we the ‘more-abled’ to remind us that there is so much more that we can do?

Why do we need to be constantly reminded of how fortunate and blessed we are?

Why can’t we just be happy and be at peace with ourselves?

Contentment.

Simple concept.

Impossible to attain.