Fed Up

A bit fed up of trying to figure out some numbers.

So here I am for a breather.

Recently I realised that I am still very much a daddy's girl.

Who do I call when I am feeling really troubled?

Good old daddy of course.

As I grow older, plus the fact that I am 13 hours flight away from him, there is not much help I can get from him really.

But it is just the automatic reaction to want to pour it out to him.

Its just the comfort of him listening to me.

Yes I am a daddy's girl. Always will run back to him.

I called him a few days ago and he was at the office and just hearing his voice made me feel better.

I wish I could be the little girl again, and him always there for me to cheer me up and sing to me 'its ok, its alright, its a good try....'

Its back to work. First day back at work from exams sucks...

Spare Change

I was walking home from college the other day and an old Indian lady approached me and asked me for spare change to get the bus.

I guess the morally right thing to do would be to give her some money. She looked quite pityful.

But the sceptical thing to do would be to not give her money cause for all you know she is a con out to cheat or rob you.

But perhaps we should always give people benefit of the doubt.

I wanted to do the morally right thing cause I thought of the time when I was a little girl and I went to the temple with my grandma. There were lots of beggars in the entrance of the temple and my generous grandma gave me a pile of coins and asked me to give it to the beggars. I could still remember me running around dsitributing the coins and I could still remember ths sound of how the coins clink as I dropped them into the beggars' collection bowls. And I could still remember the grateful looks on the old beggars faces. And all the beggars started praising me. What a nice and kind little girl. That made me happy. Perhaps there really is no selfless deed. People do stuffs to make them feel good about themselves.

Anyway, back to the old lady in Birmingham. I was going to give her some the change and I opened my purse and all I had was one 20p coin and lots of 1pence and 2pence. I looked at her pitiful old eyes and I poured out all the coins I had in my purse and gave it to her. It probably wasn't enough to catch the bus. But I gave her all the coins I had.

I wonder how the old lady is getting on. I hope she did somehow managed to get some change for her bus or whatever she needed the money for.

Can't Live Without

I can't live without noodles!

Rice noodles, egg noodles, spagethi, mi hun kueh, taggetelli, instant noodles (sometimes if desperate.)...

Fried noodles.

Soupy noodles.

Breakfast, Lunch, Tea, Dinner, Supper...

I have been eating so much noodles 2 weeks ago and I thought I should stop eating noodles for a while.

And so I did.

I abstained from noodles.

But only for a week.

I can't do it anymore.

So, I am going to head off to get some noodles.

I hope there are no side effects for a noodles-addict.

Noodles is the best food in the world.

PS - Watched Gordon Ramsay made Malaysian curry yesterday. I think he is the sexiest British Chef.

Still The Same Part 2

It was one of my dearest Aunt who told my mum about my blog swearing.

Innitially I was a bit annoyed.

But after thinking rationally, I realised that she did it out of pure concern. I am actually really touched. She cared.

Swearing is not part of the culture that I am brought up in. Apparently girls should not swear. Its ok for boys. Double standards that is. But never mind.

Anyway I am going to try to make this blog free of swearing since innocent little children (do they still exist?) might stumble onto this blog and be influenced. I will try my very best to keep this blog clean.

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Wached Beyond Our Ken ( a Hong Kong movie).

Imagine my excitement cause I haven't watched any Hong Kong movie for a long long time.

Some quotes from the movie...

'There are no princes in this world, only pokkhai (assholes) in disguise.'
'There are no princesses in this world, only witches in disguise.'

How disturbingly true.

Er I hope pokkhai is not a swear word.

Ooops did I do it again?

That Time Again

Sore-Throat.

Stress.

Tired.

Exams.

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Yesterdays's No 1 Procrastination TV Programme goes to...

Grand Designs!

http://www.channel4.com/4homes/ontv/grand-designs/houses/M/medway.html

Absolutely brilliant and inspirational.

I guess I will never ever do anything great cause I ain't crazy enough.

And the procrastination continues..

Heroes

http://www.nbc.com/Heroes/

Not a very original idea this drama.

First thought is its just another X-Men Wannabe drama.

I didn’t think I would enjoy it when Ef first gave it to me.

I didn’t even think X-Men was that good.

But surprisingly I did enjoy watching Heroes.

Now, I wish I could fly away, high, high into the skies.

Heck, maybe I could.

Maybe I just need a push.
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Some random things that got me quite excited for the past 2 weeks.

Thai Night was good fun. Also Very flattered that quite a few Thai people spoke Thai to me thinking I am Thai. I really want to visit Thailand. Maybe go stay there for a while. Learn to speak Thai and have lots of pad thai! (Which by the way ran out during the diner. It was the one thing i was really looking forward to. ) Oh and we were each given a coconut. A real coconut. It took me ages to open it. Of course it wasn't fresh or sweet but still my first coconut in UK, very exciting stuff.

Watched the quarter finals of the All England Badminton live on Friday at the NIA. Yes its in Birmingham. Lucky me. Koo and Tan played extremely well. So proud that they are in the finals. Just checked the live score board and they are on the way to winning. Really hope they win.

Actually Birmingham is quite a cool place. Justin Timberlake is coming to perform at the NIA. I am not a big fan but I wouldn't mind seeing a sexy star like him.

The most exciting moment of all the exciting moments is getting my flight ticket home. 3 weeks of bliss in September... Can't wait...

Song of The Month

Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett

Soundtrack of Music and Lyrics

Movie by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead

I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I’ve been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I’ve been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs

I know that it’s out there

There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart againI guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into loveI

can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

The Friday Night Question

To go or not to go?

The social working culture here is to have a drink at the pub after a hard week's cheap labour.

It is the thing everyone looks forward to - getting drunk.

People actually fall in love (or lust) on these occasions.
Perhaps it is easier when you are drunk.

Every other Friday I will be undecided. Part of me would love to just stay in, watch TV, or read a good book. Another part of me wants to be socialable. It is a dillemma every other week.

To drink or not to drink?

Seems rude to decline when people offer to buy you a drink.

Hard to say no to a free drink.

I am proud to say that I have not been drunk yet in Birm.

Its all about self control and knowing your limits.

At the end of the day, if I ever made it out for the night, I would come home feeling 'I am glad I went, it was fun.' Perhaps it is the feel good feeling that alcohol gives you (even if it is just a pint.) and also being in the company of drunk people when you are the only sober one is always amusing.

Still The Same

Most people tell me I am still the same whenever I go home.
I think as a whole I am still the same but perhaps I have changed.

Is it possible for one to stay the same always?

People change with time.
People change with age.

Things change but yet many things will always remain the same.

Mum was a wee bit upset on the phone on CNY.
She said that she heard that I have been swearing a lot on my blog and that I have changed.

I didn't realise I have been swearing that much. Perhaps a little bit.

The truth is I don't swear that much really.
I am only ever brave enough to blog it. Sometimes when the going gets tough the words are in my head but they normally don't make it out of the mouth unless it really is 'the shit.'

Of course I have changed.
How is it possible to remain the weak and meek little girl when I am on my own here?
I have changed because circumstances have made me.
I have changed from a spoilt daddy's girl to being independent old lady.
I have to do everything on my own. There is no option of asking dad for help.
I have all these responsibilities of paying the bills on time, keeping the house 'livable', paying taxes and the lot.

I have changed from a cry baby to one that is almost emotionless.
This change worries me a little bit.
I used to cry a lot. I get emotional easily.
Now there is a kind of detachment.
Nothing gets to me anymore.
I just keep thinking shit happens, there really is no point in getting upset.
Perhaps I am supressing all these emotions.
Hiding them and one fine day they will all want to break free from me.

Changes happen for a reason.
And I hope I have changed for the better.

My mum must have been a bit hurt when she heard those stuffs as a mum would be.

I just hope she will continue to trust and believe in her little girl like she always have been.

For better or for worse...